


Teachable Moments

by TheBodyBioelectric



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Anal Play, Dom!Maggie, F/F, G!P, Girl Penis, In that there is a girl with a penis, Light Dom/sub, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Praise Kink, Sanvers - Freeform, Spanking, Strap-Ons, Sub Alex, Top Maggie, Trans Alex Danvers, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, much less that I'm actually following gp tropes, realistic trans experiences, sub!Alex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-08 12:55:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11646996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBodyBioelectric/pseuds/TheBodyBioelectric
Summary: Alex and Maggie go on a date and things get steamy much more quickly than Alex could reasonably predict, forcing Alex has to deal with her feelings about her body, dating, and lesbianism at a much faster, and more erotic, pace than she had expected.Or: I got tired of bad and exploitative trans erotica on this site so I wrote my own. Enjoy the #Transvers no one asked for but possibly wanted.edit: I guess people wanted it





	1. Explanations

Alex prided herself on being slow, methodical, even, when it came to dating. She always vetted her dates; dug into their personal history in a way that made the concept of googling someone seem quaint and trusting. She didn’t have a psych degree among her many honors, but her investigative instincts were rarely wrong.

When she spoke to her dates, she always came prepared for the worst. She had even made a power point for a former high school quarterback who had had some exceptional difficulty with the topic, but who really seemed like he was trying to understand. In retrospect, that incident itself should have shown Alex that she was a gigantic lesbian, but she had been so wrapped up in being normal for her mother, in being responsible and successful and practical and presenting a feminine image for her mother that she couldn’t consider the possibility that maybe she didn’t fit the exact Harry Benjamin standards of care. 

Which is why sitting in her car, making out with a beautiful woman was seriously throwing her for a loop. 

She hadn’t Explained at dinner like she had meant to. She hadn’t Explained before they had started making out. And now Maggie’s hands were starting to roam outwards from her waist, and Alex felt powerless to stop her body from arching into Maggie’s touch or from moaning softly when Maggie’s delicate fingers reached up to cup her breasts.

And she still hadn’t Explained.

“Hmm, this is ok?” Maggie whispered wetly into Alex’s ear as she gently ghosted over Alex’s chest in way that made it hard to breath.

“Yes,” Alex said weakly as her own hands moved to Maggie’s own breast and thigh, the one that wasn’t dangerously close to rubbing between her legs, for support even as she had to shift her head so that her neck wouldn’t cramp at it’s odd angle against the door.

“Good. You started to look like a deer in the headlights there for a second,” Maggie said with a smirk before her face turned serious. “We can stop if starts to be too much, ok?”

“Ok,” Alex said softly.

“I knew I had you pegged right as a bottom,” Maggie said as she leaned in more purposefully this time, kneading Alex’s breast as she rocked gently into Alex as they held a deep kiss. Alex moaned as she started to feel her body respond. She felt like putty in Maggie’s hands, warming all over at her soft squeezes. A hot wetness settled in her stomach, pressure building inside of her stomach until it demanded to seep out.

Alex suddenly realized how her body was responding. She had buried the last memory of her body responding this way to another person deep in her subconscious, smashed it down so far and into such a deep hole that she had forgotten it had even existed. And now was the moment her body chose to remember.

“Stop, stop, Maggie, too much,” Alex breathed. A concerned looking Alex looked up at Alex from where she had been kissing a line across her collarbones.

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry. You seemed like you were really enjoying it, I’m sorry if I went too fast,” Maggie said as she cupped Alex’s cheek. “Are you alright?”

“I was enjoying it. Too much,” Alex said again as she closed her eyes. She really hoped that she would be able to speak again soon because she needed to explain and hope Maggie wasn’t mad at her.

“You know, not to be too forward, but we could go someplace that’s a little more private if you wanted to enjoy more,” Maggie said with a small smile. Alex awkwardly tried to disentangle herself from Maggie in response, and the smile fell from Maggie’s face. 

“Hey, nothing, like, happened to you in the past, right? I mean, it wouldn’t be my first rodeo with dealing with trauma with a girl,” Maggie said as she leaned forward as she sat next to Alex in the back seat of her car. “It’s nothing to be ashamed about if it is.”

“It’s not that. I haven’t told you something about myself, and I really should have explained way before I kissed you, but with you it’s just so easy to forget about everything else, including basic, basic safety things and I can’t seem to stop and just tell you what’s going on because I’m just so caught up in how I feel like I can’t stop-” Alex said before Maggie interrupted her.

“Babe, you’re rambling,” Maggie said.

“Sorry,” Alex said as she blushed.

“It’s cute,” Maggie said with a smile. “Now what’s this deep dark secret? Are you secretly a super hero? Alien? Are you a previously unheard-of mutant with dangerous powers?”

“I’m trans,” Alex said in a small voice.

“Oh. Shit, I’m sorry for being an ass about this,” Maggie said as she reached out her hand to gently put on Alex’s bare knee. “Shit, have I even been using the right pronouns?”

Alex laughed a little bit as she said, “No, she is correct. And I’m the one who should be sorry for waiting to the last possible minute to tell you. It was selfish.”

“No, it wasn’t, Alex. You don’t owe people an explanation, and it shouldn’t be some kind of dark shame,” Maggie said. Alex sniffed.

“Thanks,” Alex said and chuckled. “I have a power point on my phone though, if you did want an explanation.”

“Christ, Danvers,” Maggie said with an eye roll and a smile. “Does it have diagrams?”

“You better believe it,” Alex said with a brief smile. “But, you’re not mad?”

“No, I’m not mad. You didn’t do anything wrong. And it’s not an issue with me, other than that I’m a little clueless about trans stuff. Well, gay girl trans stuff. My best friend is a straight trans woman, but I haven’t lived it, so I might need you to clue me in to stuff sometimes. I mean, as long as there are no power points,” Maggie said with a mock frown.

“Well, as long as you can teach me how to be a lesbian,” Alex said with a smile.

“I think that can be arranged,” Maggie said with raised eyebrows as she slipped her hand to the inside of Alex’s thigh, relishing the feeling of Alex’s skin jumping under her touch.

“Wait, you, um, don’t have a problem with um, parts? Of me?” Alex asked weakly as Maggie’s hand continued to travel up her thigh. “I’m pre-op. Well, really non-op at this point in my life.”

“You’re really cute when your flustered,” Maggie said with a smile as her fingers slowly moved up under the hem of Alex’s dress. “I’ve never done things with a girl who has those specific parts before, so I can’t promise how I’ll react, but I know I really want to see you keep making the face you’re making right now. So, can I go higher?”

“Yes,” Alex said as her stomach flipped over and she felt Maggie’s fingers brushing closer and closer to her center. She let out a small gasp and her hand shot out to grip the edge of Maggie’s leather jacket as she felt Maggie’s fingers brush past her panties.

“Fuck, Danvers, I didn’t peg you for noisy, but I like it,” Maggie whispered into her ear as her hand moved to palm Alex’s crotch as the taller woman whined and felt her hips move of their own accord.

Alex desperately looked at Maggie’s face even as she started to come apart under her touches, searching for any sign of doubt or anxiety or second guessing. 

“Are you still ok?” Alex gasped out as Maggie began to squeeze and move her hand around in small circles. 

“Well, I have my hand up a beautiful woman’s dress in the backseat of my car,” Maggie said with a slight pant. “I’d say I’m doing pretty good.”

Alex could only moan and arch her back when Maggie rubbed her just right.

“My place or yours?” Maggie asked as she pulled her hand from underneath Alex’s dress and pulled out her keys and hurriedly got into the driver’s seat as Alex awkwardly adjusted her underwear before climbing into the passenger seat.

“Your place is closer,” Alex said. 

“I like the way you think, Danvers,” Maggie said with a smirk before putting the car in gear.

A very short and very fast drive later, Maggie was pushing Alex through the door, lips locked in a passionate kiss. Kicking the door closed with her foot, Maggie broke the kiss and took Alex by the hand.

“Bedroom,” She commanded as she led Alex purposefully through her apartment. Alex whimpered and followed.

“Clothes. Off,” Maggie said imperiously as she closed the door and gave Alex a slow once over. Alex trembled slightly as her hands reached back to unzip her dress.

“You’re really sure you’re ok with this? You don’t want to dim to the lights?” Alex asked.

“Well, I want to see you. All of you. But only if you’re ok with it,” Maggie said in a softer tone as she stepped into Alex’s personal space and placed her hands on Alex’s waist.

“Ok. Yeah, I’m ok. Just nerves,” Alex said with a shaky breath.

“Well, let’s get you out of that dress and onto your knees then,” Maggie said, shifting back to a more commanding tone. Alex shivered as she felt Maggie unzip her dress, letting it slowly fall to the floor. 

“Tell me if I go too far, or if you want to slow down or stop at any point,” Maggie said as she slowly slipped her fingers into Alex’s hair. 

“Yes,” Alex whispered as she pushed her head into Maggie’s hand, bending her neck back at an awkward angle.

“And just double checking that you want me to be in charge,” Maggie said.

“Checked,” Alex said with a shy smile as Maggie smirked at her.

“Thought so. Now, let’s put that big federal agent mouth to a better use than talking,” Maggie said as she guided Alex’s face down to the soft crotch of her jeans. With a slight thrust, Maggie pushed her crotch gently into Alex’s face, rubbing her face against the soft denim as she pulled her forward by the hair. Alex let out a breathy moan, inhaling the scent of arousal, Maggie’s arousal, as she felt herself stiffen in her own damp panties.

“Fuck, you’re pretty,” Maggie said under her breath, creating a bloom of warmth in Alex’s chest. She had always been guarded before, worried she would have to run out of the room or fight for her life at the slightest provocation. But Maggie wanted her all for herself, like she was a rare bourbon that Maggie wanted to savor and lock away in chains.

Alex blinked at the thought. She had never considered herself as kinky before, never considered sex with women in any way other than through the prurient lens of preteen boys in a locker room or some stereotype with scented candles and soft lighting. But she had been wrong about so many other aspects of her sexuality…

“Hey, Alex, you still here?” Maggie asked gently as she stroked her girlfriend’s cheek. “Shit, you didn’t check in to subspace the first time, did you?”

“Sub space?” Alex asked.

“Like, a really submissive head space,” Maggie said. 

“I um. Maybe,” Alex said as she felt the rest of the room other than Maggie come back into focus. “I think I might have some things about my sexuality I haven’t explored yet.”

“So you’re telling me that you’re only now realizing that you’re a kinky bitch in addition to being a huge dyke,” Maggie said.

“Um, yes?” Alex said.

“You’re hopeless, Danvers,” Maggie said as she ruffled Alex’s hair in a way that felt so incredible Alex was disappointed when Maggie pulled her hand away.

“Well, as much as it pains me to say, we should probably wait a little bit to break out the whips and chains,” Maggie said. “Let’s just keep it to the simple items in my box of wonders tonight.”

“You have a box of wonders?” Alex asked as Maggie sat down on the bed and kicked off her pants.

“Yep,” Maggie said as she smiled at Alex. “You really do look good kneeling on the floor like that.”

“Thank you,” Alex said as she blushed heavily.

“Hmmm. I bet you have a praise kink a mile wide,” Maggie said with a contemplative look.

“I don’t know what that is, but I do like it when you compliment me,” Alex said with a blush as Maggie hap hazardously threw her underwear into a corner of the room, exposing her glistening crotch.

“Well, maybe we should do a test. Does it make you hornier to know that I’m this wet because you were such a good girl for me and stayed on your knees that whole time?” Maggie asked as Alex felt herself practically gush into her panties.

“Yes,” Alex said as she shifted her first real erection in what felt like years underneath her. 

“Then crawl over here and I’ll guide you through how to properly kiss me between my thighs,” Maggie said as she scooted herself to the edge of the bed and opened her legs. 

Alex felt herself drawn magnetically to Maggie’s dark, glistening folds as she crawled across the floor on all fours. Stopping at Maggie’s knees, she kissed the inside crook of each knee before looking up at Maggie for further instructions. 

“So obedient,” Maggie said in a saccharine tone that made Alex feel somehow both small and proud at the same time. “Still good?”

“Yes,” Alex said.

“Good. Now, lick from the bottom as wide and as flat as you can, and we’ll go from there,” Maggie commanded. 

Alex dipped her head, view narrowing to Maggie’s soft pubic hair and skin as her senses were overwhelmed by the heat and musk surrounding her consciousness as she tentatively extended her tongue to lap at Maggie’s core.

Maggie’s taste was both sweeter and tangier than Alex had been expecting, nothing like the salty bile she was used to on her tongue. Maggie moaned at Alex’s first exploratory lap, and so she began brushing heavily against Maggie’s folds with broad swipes, greedily trying to elicit more pleased moans out of her girlfriend. Alex felt a small thrill through her midsection when she felt Maggie’s hand gently press into the top of her head.

“Fuck, you’re good at this,” Maggie said as her hips bucked involuntarily and she leaned her head back. “Fuck, ok, god, move that tongue of yours just a little higher, shit, there, yes, there, good girl, fuck!”

Maggie’s comments devolved into a string of soft curses and breathy moans as Alex continued to caress her folds with her tongue. Maggie felt impossibly soft and slippery to her tongue, and a feeling so intense welled up inside Ales as she heard Maggie’s moans above her that she was afraid she was going to throw up. It felt like she was gorging herself on every pint of ice cream in her fridge at once, melted down and dribbling in the form of warm manna running down her face and tongue and into her throat. She couldn’t stop herself from wanting more, having more, as she continued a steady rhythm with her tongue.

Alex briefly wondered how she had ever considered herself straight before she turned back to the more practical matter of following Maggie’s directions to her clit.

After several minutes of Alex’s eager ministrations, Maggie’s moans built to a slow crescendo as she wiggled her hips. Seconds later, Alex felt Maggie’s body go rigid under her mouth and hands as Maggie let out a wordless exclamation, hips bucking into her Alex’s face as she rode out her orgasm. Eventually, the shudders slowed to a stop.

“Fuck, Alex, stop baby,” Maggie said as she gently pulled Alex’s head away from her crotch. Alex felt the mess Maggie had left behind on her face start to cool as she looked up with large eyes at Maggie’s face.

“Did I do ok?” Alex asked sincerely.

“Fuck, yeah, you did pretty great,” Maggie said with a grin as her breathing settled down from the ragged intake it had been several seconds earlier as she casually ran a hand through her slightly matted hair. “Now lay down on the bed so I can return the favor.”

Alex hesitated for several seconds, unsure of what to do.

“Hey, are you ok?” Maggie said as a look of concern crossed her face the longer Alex silently sat there.

“Sorry, it’s just that no one’s really ever offered to do that before,” Alex said as she felt a pang stab through her chest as she had to admit to this beautiful woman how pathetic she was.

“Wait, are you a virgin? I guess I just assumed you had-” Maggie said.

“No, I’m not a virgin, I’ve had sex before. I just haven’t had, you know,” Alex said, feeling a lump build in her throat.

“No one’s ever gone down on you before?” Maggie asked gently as she leaned forward until her face was close to Alex’s.

“I mean, I’ve only had sex with a couple of straight guys, and most of them only tolerated the fact that I’m trans, and I didn’t want to make them do something they didn’t want to do, so I just didn’t ask and they never offered,” Alex said as she had to look away from Maggie’s intense gaze.

“Baby,” Maggie said in a low voice as she brought Alex’s messy face back up to face her with a gentle knuckle under her chin. “You deserve so much more than that.”

Alex felt a part of her melt as Maggie drew her into a gentle kiss, tongue softly sliding around to sample the juices on Alex’s face. After several minutes, Maggie finally pulled back.

“We’re going to do this right, and I’m going to show you how big of a lesbo you are,” Maggie said before she turned her head. “Except that I just realized that I have legitimately no experience with what you have.”

“Well, I don’t mean to build up your ego, but I can guarantee that you’ll be the best at it out of anyone I’ve ever experienced,” Alex said with a small grin.

“Thanks, Danvers,” Maggie said. “But I’ll get a toaster oven for the both of us yet. Now get your pretty ass up here and spread your legs for me.”

Alex whimpered in anticipation as she climbed up onto the bed with her girlfriend, who was hastily taking off her the rest of her clothes. Once Alex was on the bed, she lay down in front of her girlfriend before a trill of anxiety coursed through her at the sound of Maggie tsking at her.

“Danvers, I’m pretty sure this is a bra free zone, and you appear to still be wearing one,” Maggie said in a mock cop voice. Alex giggled as she unhooked her bra, before noticing that she was sitting before a freaking naked goddess, causing her brain to short circuit.

“You forget how that thing works?” Maggie said with a grin as she rolled her weight to one side.

“No, I’m just suddenly aware of how totally out of my league I am,” Alex said as she stared at her nude girlfriend. “Very, very aware.”

“You’re not too bad yourself, Danvers,” Maggie said with a smug look as she gave Alex a lecherous once over. “Now take that thing off so I can do this properly.” 

As Alex slid out of the bra, Maggie slid up her body until she captured Alex’s entire mouth in an erotic kiss. After gently pushing Alex’s body flat onto the mattress, Maggie’s kisses migrated to Alex’s neck as she greedily devoured the exposed, sensitive flesh. Alex’s soft moan turned sharp as Maggie’s mouth moved downwards to deliver a quick nip to Alex’s collarbone before continuing her journey.

Maggie let out a half moan, half growl as her tongue moved on to the pink tips of Alex’s breasts. Alex threw her head back in ecstasy as Maggie circled her nipples reverently, like she was feasting on the best tiramisu of her life. Alex gasped and squirmed as she felt Maggie’s teeth graze her peaks, wrapping her legs around Maggie’s waist in a desperate attempt to gain friction to quench the fire she felt in her core. 

Languidly, Maggie began kissing down the middle of Alex’s chest, ignoring the small whines of protest that Alex made or the wiggling hips of the woman underneath her. When she reached Alex’s naval, Maggie gave a playful lick inside. She smiled at the shudder she induced in Alex at the small touch.

“You’re so sensitive,” Maggie said. “I hope you know I’m definitely using this against you later.”

“Wouldn’t expect any less,” Alex said as her last word ended in a hiss as Maggie put her hand between Alex’s thighs for the second time that night. After a few mock innocent kisses below her belly button, Maggie moved her hands to the sides of Alex’s underwear.

“Can I take these off?” Maggie said as her fingers dug underneath the fabric anticipation.

“Yes,” Alex managed to gasp. 

Seconds later, Alex found herself completely nude in front of her girlfriend for the first time. She had the urge to close her legs and hide her softly throbbing erection from Maggie, especially now that it was literally right in front of the other woman’s face, but Maggie put her exceptionally warm hands on the inside of her thighs and kept her spread open. Maggie looked Alex over slowly and bit her lip, and Alex couldn’t help but shiver even as she found the gesture comforting.

“Let’s hope all that time spent in girl’s locker room paid off,” Maggie muttered before making eye contact with Alex. “Still good?”

“Yeah,” Alex said in a shuddering breath.

“Tell me what feels good and what doesn’t. Be vocal for me,” Maggie said as Alex nodded. Seconds later, Maggie lowered her head and experimentally licked the head of Alex’s member.

“Fuck, that, do that,” Alex said as she shuddered from the intensity of the feeling. Seconds later, she devolved into an incoherent series of moans as Maggie’s tongue went to work once again, gliding smoothly over her the sensitive skin. Unsure what to do with herself, she put her hand down onto Maggie’s shoulder, just to touch her and keep her grounded as she began to ride what felt like a continuous explosion.

Alex was already squirming under the intensity of what she was feeling when Maggie slipped about half of Alex’s appendage into her mouth. Alex’s head snapped back, eyes closed, as she let out a loud moan and felt herself spurt pre into Maggie’s mouth. Immediately, Alex felt immense guilt and as soon as her arching back would allow she looked down to check that her girlfriend wasn’t incensed with her.

She was greeted instead by the sight of Maggie looking at her with smiling eyes as she slowly massaged Alex’s member with a silky embrace that made it difficult for Alex to do anything other than babble incoherently. 

“That feels so good,” Alex gasped as she felt herself grow hot from the pressure building in the pit of her flopping stomach.

After several minutes of squirming and moaning herself hoarse, Alex felt the fire in her stomach spread out to her limbs slowly, pulling her towards the peak of a wave.

“Fuck, fuck Maggie, I’m going to come,” Alex managed to get out as her breathing became short and ragged.

“Good girl, come for me baby,” Maggie soothed as she pumped Alex in her hand until she finally shuddered as she peaked, pumping fluid all over herself as she felt the pressure finally release.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Maggie said as she looked predatorily down at Alex’s messy form.

“Thank you,” Alex said softly as she felt a brief pang of guilt abate at Maggie’s comment.

“It’s always a good sign when I need to get a girl a towel,” Maggie said with a wink as she walked across the room to a closet. “I’m assuming I did a decent job?”

“Um, yes. Yes, you did,” Alex said in a shaky voice as she tried to get her breathing under control as Maggie threw her a towel.

“It’s nice to have the immediate feedback,” Maggie said with a smirk as she walked back to the bed and pressed her body into Alex’s side as she cleaned herself. After several seconds, Maggie lost her patience and pulled Alex into a deep kiss with both hands, pushing her tongue into the taller woman’s mouth and intermingling their respective tastes.

Pulling away briefly, Alex looked bashfully at Maggie.

“So, it wasn’t like, gross for you?” Alex asked. 

“It was not gross. I even plan on doing it again. Soon,” Maggie said with a smile before she placed a quick peck on Alex’s forehead. Alex gave a small smile before putting her arms around Maggie’s waist and pulling her into a cuddling embrace as she kissed her. 

After another round of making out, Maggie pulled back.

“Wait, so answer a question about straight people for me,” Maggie said with a sly grin.

“This is going to be recurring thing, isn’t it?” Alex said in mock frustration.

“If you had sex before, and you have the parts you have, does that mean proper FBI agent Alex Danvers did anal?” Maggie asked with a grin.

“Firstly, I would like to point out that that is not that uncommon of a thing to do,” Alex said huffily. “Secondly, I might have experimented in college.”

“Mmmmm, ok, Danvers,” Maggie said as she casually reached over Alex’s body and groped her ass, eliciting a slight groan and twitch of her hips.

“Why do you ask?” Alex asked as she subconsciously pushed back into Maggie’s hand as it squeezed and massaged her rear.

“Hmm, I was just thinking about how my little box of wonders has a strap-on in it, and I’m feeling in the mood to fuck your pretty ass into the mattress,” Maggie said casually. “And I was just wondering if that would be something you were interested in.”

“Yes,” Alex said as her throat suddenly went dry at the thought. 

“I’m glad,” Maggie said into Alex’s ear seconds before briefly licking her ear. “Do I need to let you clean up in the shower first?”

“I’m actually already cleaned out,” Alex said as she tried to control her breathing.

“Ambitious for a first date,” Maggie said. “I like that confidence.”

“Honestly, I didn’t think anything was going to happen tonight,” Alex said.

“So what, you’re just always ready for action?” Maggie asked.

“Um, I might have assumed I was going to need to work out some sexual frustration by myself, actually,” Alex said.

“Fuck, that’s a hot image,” Maggie said as she stared intently at Alex. “You are a real person and not some kind of elaborate wet dream, right?”

Alex laughed.

“I didn’t know you liked, you know, so much,” Alex said with a blush.

“Butt stuff? I mean, neither did I. But I really like the thought of doing anal with you,” Maggie said as her finger moved to gently caress Alex’s back hole, eliciting a moan and back arch from Alex. “I mean, I guess I’ve never been with such a submissive girl before either, so maybe it goes together.”

“Fuck, that feels good,” Alex whimpered as Maggie moved the tip of her finger in a lazy circle.

“Here, prop yourself up on a pillow, I’m going to go get another towel and some lube,” Maggie said with a grin. “And you can meet Bertha.”

“You named your strap on?” Alex asked as she positioned a pillow under the small of her back.

“Don’t make me punish you,” Maggie said with a mock grin as she pulled out and slipped on what looked like a pair of boy shorts from a small chest in her closet.

“Just asking questions, detective,” Alex said. “Like why you’re putting on underwear for sex?”

“Well, Agent, this is my harness,” Maggie said, as she slipped a deep purple dildo through a hole in the front. “And this is Bertha.”

“I can’t tell if the name makes this dorkier or hotter,” Alex said as she took a towel from Maggie and spread it out underneath her. 

“Well, let’s see if I can get you say that it makes it hotter,” Maggie said as her eyes turned dark again. “Now, spread yourself for me so I can warm you up.”

Alex felt her throat try to jump into her mouth at the command, before she regained some control over her body and spread her legs as she reached down and pull her cheeks apart for Maggie.

“Fuck, I need to see you like this more often,” Maggie said as she dribbled some lube onto her finger before dribbling some of the cold lube onto Alex’s entrance. Alex shivered at the temperature difference as she felt the liquid wet her sensitive ring. Seconds later, she moaned as she felt Maggie’s finger slide just past the entrance.

“You’ve done this before?” Alex said as she felt herself start to adjust to the tip of Maggie’s finger.

“Not with anyone serious,” Maggie said with a shrug. “But yeah, this isn’t my first rodeo. Ready for more?”

“Yes,” Alex said with a moan as she felt Maggie penetrate her fully. Alex could barely breath as she felt Maggie’s slim finger wriggle deliciously inside her as she felt her muscles squeeze against Maggie’s digit. Alex’s brain couldn’t fully process having Maggie inside of her, pushing her open, and she reached out to grab the only part of Maggie she could reach just for something to hang on to, grabbing Maggie’s wrist lightly.

“Too much?” Maggie asked with concern. Alex could only shake her head and push Maggie’s finger further into her.

“Fuck, you’re so warm inside,” Maggie said as she grinned down at Alex as the redhead felt something indescribably warm bloom in her chest. “Does my greedy girl want me to fuck her with my finger?”

Alex nodded enthusiastically.

“I need you hear you say it out loud for me, pretty girl,” Maggie said in a sultry voice.

“Fuck me. Please,” Alex pleaded.

“Gladly,” Maggie said as she began to slowly rock into Alex. 

Sensations exploded inside of Alex as Maggie started to slowly loosen the muscles of Alex’s back passage. After a few minutes, Maggie added a second finger once Alex’s hole became loose enough for Maggie to roll her finger around in a circle as she fucked her. After another several minutes, Maggie added another finger. 

Alex felt something building deep inside her as Maggie continued to pump steadily inside of her, pushing back into Maggie’s three fingers as she drove them into her.

“Are you ready for me to fuck you now?” Maggie asked as a bead of sweat began to crawl down her face.

“I need you inside me,” Alex whispered. Pulling out slowly, Maggie replaced the brief feeling of emptiness Alex felt with the insistent tip of the dildo she guided into Alex, inducing a guttural moan in the taller woman. Carefully, Maggie grabbed Alex’s ankles and guided them up and back as she pushed the girth of the dildo further into her girlfriend. As Maggie came to a rest inside of Alex, the DEO agent was bent nearly in half as the backs of her knees came to a rest on Maggie’s shoulders as the smaller woman leaned in close to Alex’s face. With one last push, Alex felt Maggie’s warm thighs come to rest on her ass as she finally took the entire length of the silicone rod inside of her. 

“Holy fuck, that’s hot,” Maggie said as she felt Alex squirm underneath her, shifting the member pushed between their bodies. “Ready to get fucked?”

Alex nodded enthusiastically and whined, moving her hips as much as she could to create a tiny amount of movement on the length of the rod. 

“I’m glad you’re so eager,” Maggie said as she slowly began moving the rod back and forth. “I’m going to reward you for being so good and horny for me.”

Alex’s whines slowly turned to moans as Maggie started to thrust in earnest, rocking her back and forth in a steady motion. The increasing rhythm was only broken when Alex squeaked after Maggie gave her ass a slap as she continued to fuck her.

“Too much?” Maggie asked through a voice was strained by exertion as she kept up a steady rhythm.

“More,” Alex managed to get out as she felt the pleasure building deep within her, fed by the stinging of her cheek and the pounding sensation of taking the dildo again and again.

“Good answer,” Maggie grunted with a wicked smile as she began to pepper Alex’s ass with periodic slaps, causing Alex to twist and moan uncontrollably underneath the smaller woman. Alex reached out with her hands for something to steady her body on, to feel Maggie under her hands like Maggie was feeling Alex’s body under her. Alex’s hands rested on the top of Maggie’s ass, feeling the incredible feeling of her girlfriend thrusting into her, snapping her hips forward powerfully as Alex made submissive noises underneath her. 

“You look so fucking good on your back,” Maggie growled as Alex’s vocalizations began to grow louder. “Are you getting close?”

“Yes, god yes, I’m so close,” Alex practically prayed. 

“Then come for me,” Maggie said as she leaned backwards slightly, allowing her to grab and start pumping Alex’s member in time with her thrusts, sending Alex over the edge. Seconds later, Alex was clenching tightly around the thick rod penetrating her as sticky liquid pumped out onto her stomach and chest.

Maggie’s frantic pace slowed until finally she was resting inside of Alex once again. After several seconds, Maggie slowly pulled the dildo out completely with a quiet pop.

“Fuck,” Maggie said as she kicked off the strap on and collapsed on the bed next to Alex, who was just finishing cleaning her body off with the towel that had caught the excess lube form their lovemaking. “Was that as good for you as it was for me to watch?”

“Yeah,” Alex said in a small voice as she curled her body up next to her now sweaty girlfriend. 

“I should have known you were a cuddler,” Maggie said as she threw her arm around Alex’s shoulders possessively.

“Was that good for you?” Alex asked.

“Mmmm, yes it was,” Maggie said as she kissed Alex’s forehead. “Bertha has the absolute perfect little point on her base.”

“I’m glad,” Alex said as she buried her face into Maggie’s neck to inhale more of her scent.

“So, think this lesbian stuff might be for you?” Maggie said with a devilish grin as she looked down at Alex.

“The best sex of my life would seem to say yes to that,” Alex said with a guarded smile.

“What’s up, baby?” Maggie asked with a small crinkle of worry at the edge of her eye.

“Can I stay the night?” Alex mumbled. 

“Of course you can,” Maggie said as she kissed the top of Alex’s head. “Is that really what you wanted to ask me though?”

“No,” Alex said with a soft sigh. “I guess I just wanted to ask if this was an experience for you or if you still wanted this to go someplace.”

Maggie snorted softly, and the air tickled Alex’s ear as it brushed past it.

“Normally I’m the one asking that question,” Maggie said. “But no, I meant it when I said I was your girlfriend, as long as you’re still down to date a brown girl.”

“Of course,” Alex said as she nuzzled Maggie’s neck affectionately. 

“Now that I’ve successfully converted you to my Sapphic ways, I think it’s time for bed,” Maggie said sleepily as she gave Alex a small hug. 

Minutes later, as Alex was drifting off to sleep, she smiled to herself.

Maybe she didn’t have to explain herself. At least, not to Maggie.

It was a good feeling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so honestly, this is a bit of a fluffy hold over chapter so you can get a taste before I really commit to a plot and also don't feel like I have to commit to 6K word chapters. Enjoy!

Alex felt fuzzy when she awoke, surrounded by warmth to the point that her mind felt almost empty and calm when she awoke. Usually, her morning routine involved sitting straight up in bed when she woke up, mentally readying the checklist she had made as she fell asleep the previous night. But here, wherever she was, surrounded her with a feeling of contentedness and sleepiness.

“Is that a laser gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” Someone mumbled from behind her as she felt a slender, calloused hand shift where it was pressed against the inside of her thigh. 

Looking down at Maggie’ arm wrapped lazily around her waist and Maggie’s hand gently pushed in between Alex’s thighs, brushing against her half erection through her borrowed panties, the previous night came flooding back to Alex as she gained full consciousness. 

“It’s um, this doesn’t usually happen,” Alex said with a deep blush. 

“Mmmm, well, I like it,” Maggie said as she let a finger trace across Alex’s crotch, eliciting a small shudder from Alex. 

“Thank you,” Alex said as she bit her lip.

“Remind me to have us fill out a kink worksheet together,” Maggie said sleepily as she gently fondled one of Alex’s breasts as she firmly pushed into Alex’s ass with her crotch. “I had a dream with some really good ideas.”

“What’s a kink worksheet?” Alex groaned as she reached behind her and rested her hand on Maggie’s slowly gyrating hip. 

“Well, it’s paperwork, a questionnaire no less, so I’m sure you’ll love it, Danvers,” Maggie said as she smiled into Alex’s neck.

“You know triplicate is what I get off to,” Alex said with a snort as she marveled at the muscles moving under her hand. 

“It’s just something to get us talking about what turns you on and what your limits are,” Maggie said.

“You sound like you have a system for this,” Alex said. 

Maggie let out a hot rush of air into Alex’s neck.

“I’ve run into my share of kink,” Maggie said as she pressed a kiss behind Alex’s ear. “I’m pretty simple, honestly. If I’m in charge and I have a pretty girl in my bed, I’m really ok with whatever.” 

“That’s good to hear, because I clearly don’t have a very solid handle on my sexuality,” Alex said as she rolled over to look Maggie in the eyes and cup her face with her hand. “If you have anything else you want to explore or ask me, please do, ok?”

“Sure, Daddy,” Maggie said in an affected tone

“You’re a sick woman, you know that?” Alex said with narrowed eyes.

“You love it, Danvers,” Maggie said as she shifted back to her normal confident tone as she raked her fingers through Alex’s hair and pulled her into a deep kiss. Alex groaned in response, feeling her body heat up even she rolled her eyes in mock disapproval. After a few seconds of kissing, she completely forgot what Maggie had said and her hands were moving up to gently cup Maggie’s breasts.

The previous night had felt like some kind of wonderful dream. It was something that Alex was totally willing to lose herself in as Maggie made her feel things she thought were dead. Waking up to finding out that it was real was something that made reassuring seem an inadequate word. Alex felt security in Maggie she hadn’t felt in a long time, and all she wanted to do this morning was wrap herself in it.

Her newly discovered libido seemed to have other ideas that simply cuddling, however.

“Fuck,” Alex said softly as she felt Maggie pressing a thigh in between Alex’s legs. “That feels good.”

“A swear word? I really am pulling you over to the dark side,” Maggie said as she pressed her own tantalizingly wet crotch into Alex’s thigh and started to make small humping motions.

“If the dark side feels like this, you can have all the swears you want,” Alex said as she pulled Maggie into a kiss with both her hands on the smaller woman’s face while Maggie held Alex’s hips in her hands for leverage as she slowly ground against her girlfriend.

Alex felt the sticky heat build inside of her again, like the familiar warmth of alcohol only without the sting of guilt in her throat. All she felt was Maggie’s soft tongue exploring every nook and cranny of her mouth. Pushing herself further into the sticky warmth, she felt the only piece of clothing she was wearing catch the liquid leaking out of her at a pleasantly luxurious rate. 

“I’m getting your underwear wet,” Alex gasped. 

“Nothing new there, Danvers. Guess we’ll have to take it off though,” Maggie said with a grin as she stopped thrust so that she could reach down between Alex’s legs to move her underwear aside. Loosely grasping Alex’s member, she began to slowly pump the half slick appendage in her hand as Alex shuddered under her touch. In response, Alex, slid her own hand down Alex’s naked body until she got to Maggie’s damp folds, where she slid fingers across Maggie’s lips in lazy circles.

“Fuck me, that’s perfect,” Maggie said as she sucked in air before devouring Alex’s mouth in deep kiss, licking around her lips and teeth before breaking it by pulling Alex’s lower lip with her teeth. “I should keep your ass in this bed all the time.”

Alex only whimpered in response as Maggie smirked and tilted her head back in pleasure. Maggie kept a languid pace, moving her hand in lazy strokes she did in unison with a small grinding motion with her hips. Alex loved the slick feeling of her girlfriend sliding over her fingers and she couldn’t get enough of the feeling of Maggie grasping her firmly, literally taking her most vulnerable part in her hands as she felt the world wash away. It wasn’t long before Alex felt the intoxicating brew boil over in her loins.

“Please,” Alex gasped as Maggie’s hand achieved the perfect amount of pressure.

“Mmm, please what?” Maggie asked with a grin as she closed her eyes and used Alex’s thighs for leverage to she ground herself down onto her girlfriend’s palm more firmly. Alex felt her mind lose the ability to think coherently at the sensation of feeling Maggie grind down on her hand as she touched her.

“Please keep touching me,” Alex practically squeaked. “I’m so close.”

“I think that can be arranged, Danvers,” Maggie said as she continued to pump Alex’s member. “I like that you’re already close for me.”

Alex was out of words, so she closed the small distance between their lips with a kiss. Devouring Maggie’s lips, she deepened the kiss as she felt her hips buck on their own as electric sensations ran from her thighs through her chest, ending in a pressure in her chest so extreme it burned. As Maggie shoved her tongue into Alex’s mouth she felt herself fall over the edge of her orgasm, spasming into Maggie’s hand.

“That’s hot every fucking time,” Maggie whispered in Alex’s ear as she broke the kiss and leaned into the still shaking Alex’s ear. “Roll over.”

Alex reluctantly withdrew her hand from Maggie as a she did as she was ordered. Sitting up, Maggie put her sticky hand on Alex’s chest firmly, lightly pinning her to the bed as she placed a knee between Alex’s thighs, lowering herself down onto Alex’s leg. Maggie’s other hand slipped down her body to her clit before she leaned over to put her face close to Alex’s.

“Is this ok with you?” Maggie asked in a deep voice as she entranced Alex with her widely blown pupils.

“Yes,” Alex said weakly as she lifted her non-sticky hand to cup Maggie’s cheek as she heard the wet sounds of Maggie using her thigh to gain friction for her wet folds as she played with herself. Maggie’s tongue danced in her mouth and Alex felt excitement course through her stomach at the knowledge that her girlfriend was using her body to get off. As if a reminder of this, Maggie increased the speed she rocked back and forth against Alex’s thigh as she increased the pressure on the redhead’s chest. Alex squirmed slightly underneath Maggie, not in discomfort but from the excess of feelings bursting out of her chest.

Breaking the kiss, Maggie nuzzled her head into the crook of Alex’s neck as her she increased the speed of her fingers accompanied by an increase in breathing. Seconds later, Alex felt her body rigid and Maggie let out several light grunts as she half writhed, half nuzzled into Alex’s neck, clenching herself tightly to Alex’s thigh. After several seconds, Maggie slipped to the side of Alex and collapsed onto the bed. Alex wrapped her arms around Maggie as she pressed a series of kisses into Maggie’s slightly matted hair.

“Was that good for you?” Alex asked.

“For me? Yes, yes it was,” Maggie said as her panting came back under control. “How was it for you?”

“I kind of liked it. A lot,” Alex said with a smile as she gently kissed her girlfriend again. “I could get used to this whole morning sex thing.”

“Well, shit, Danvers, I wouldn’t say no to a steady diet of it,” Maggie said as she shifted her arm to lazily encircle Alex’s shoulders, a move she had always found inexplicably douchey in past relationships which felt inexplicably reassuring in this one. “You’re making me not want to go to work. Like, ever again.”

“Mmmm, but who would pick up after Super Girl if we both stayed here? She’d level the city,” Alex mumbled into Maggie’s shoulder as she snuggled in closer to her.

“You’re saying one thing and doing another,” Maggie said with a tired smiled as she settled into a steady pattern of breathing, quietly enjoying the feeling of Alex resting her head on her the top of her chest and shoulder.

“It’s your fault, you never told me that lesbian sex was this amazing,” Alex complained sleepily. “Or lesbian cuddling.”

“Sorry,” Maggie said with a smirk.

“You better be, you Sapphic succubus, you,” Alex said as she curled into Maggie.

“I’ve told you you’re a giant nerd before, right?” Maggie said.

“Jerk,” Alex said before giving a broad swipe of her tongue to Maggie’s ear, eliciting a startled yelp.

“Assaulting a police officer, really Danvers?” Maggie said with a laugh as she suddenly tickled Alex’s sides, causing Alex to start laughing uncontrollably as she half struggled to get away. 

“You’re committing several federal offenses,” Alex managed to get out between laughs before she managed to break free and pin Maggie to the bed between her thighs, eliciting a hitching of breath from Maggie.

“You fight dirty,” Maggie said as she wriggled under Alex’s hips before whispering in her ear. “Don’t make me break out the cuffs or we’ll be here all day.”

“As good as that mutually assured destruction sounds, we should probably go into work. You know, for appearances,” Alex said with a small frown. 

“Fine, but I’m definitely sexting you at work,” Maggie said.

“I would expect nothing less,” Alex said as she reluctantly got off her girlfriend. “Mind if I shower?”

“Only if I can join you,” Maggie said.

“And they say there’s never a cop around when you need one,” Alex said with a smile.

“Hand cuffs, Danvers, hand cuffs,” Maggie said as she gave a playful swat to Alex’s rear as she passed Alex walking into the bathroom.


	3. A Real Pain in the Ass

After a shower, quick breakfast, and a long kiss goodbye shared with Maggie, Alex practically bounced into work half an hour after she was dropped off at her apartment. 

Alex was amazed at how light she felt. The coffee in the break room smelled better. Her morning muffin tasted even more sinful than usual. An important report came in half an hour late and she almost let it slide completely before she sent a short reminder email. 

Then she had almost completely messed up every good thing she had with an efficiency she could almost take a sick sense of pride in. Kara had herself trapped in another one of her Sisyphean series of quests to create order and peace. J’onn needed her to work late again and inject herself into yet another department to help her sister out of the current jam she had wedged herself into while still somehow keeping her own research goals on schedule. 

Then Maggie showed up and needed attention and Alex had instantly found the most direct route to amplify all three problems at once by blowing Maggie off.

Thirty seconds after she saw Maggie walking away, she regretted every syllable that had come out of her mouth. Three minutes later she could hardly focus on her work. And Three hours later she had already written and practiced a half hour speech twice while she worked because it was the only way that she could maintain some semblance of productivity.

She hardly remembered how she got outside of Maggie’s door, but every word she had planned seemed to have flown out of her mind. It didn’t seem to matter when she knew how this would end. Cold silences following her explanations for falling predictably short. A remark to cut through her bullshit. Sitting in her apartment alone, under a single light, until morning came and left her bleary eyed and exhausted. 

She was already planning which liquor store to swing by on her way home and who she would delegate what tasks to when she took a steadying breath and knocked on Maggie’s door. 

And then Maggie had flipped her world upside down, again.

“You get one, Danvers,” Maggie said quietly. 

Alex was too shocked to react at first, too shocked to do anything other than try to remember how to breathe again upon finding herself with air after so long underwater. The first breathe she sucked in slowly, like she had the wind knocked out of her, and then expelled in a sob. Maggie held her as the second one came out of her, louder and huffier than the first, and Alex latched on to Maggie like the life saver she was.

Alex tried to say thank you, but the only thing that would come out of her mouth was repeating, “Maggie, please don’t leave me.”

“Alex, baby, I’m not leaving you like that,” Maggie whispered back into Alex’s ear as she stroked Alex’s hair. “This is definitely one of the smaller baby gay freak outs I’ve seen.”

“Thanks,” Alex said with a slight sniff. “You’re not just saying that?”

“You haven’t keyed my car or accused me of being a ‘lecherous old man in disguise,’ so yeah, I’m pretty sure,” Maggie said with a small grin. 

Alex let out a quiet laugh into Maggie’s neck.

“To be fair, you’re at least a little lecherous,” Alex said as she squeezed her girlfriend before she nuzzled further into the crook of Maggie’s soft skin.

“Well I’ll try to stay young and virile just for you then,” Maggie said as she rolled her eyes. 

Alex closed her eyes and simply let Maggie slowly rock her side to side in her arms. Eventually, she felt her heart rate start to decrease, even if the boulders in her stomach refused to stop grinding past each other. 

“I really am sorry,” Alex mumbled.

“I know, baby,” Maggie said. “And we both know this isn’t happening again.”

“This might be a good time to tell you that I don’t have an exceptional number of healthy relationship models in my life,” Alex said. 

“It could be worse. You could have grown up Catholic,” Maggie said.

“I grew up with two professors for parents,” Alex said. “It’s like Catholic guilt for being smart.”

“So that’s why you’re a huge nerd,” Maggie said with a small smile.

“Takes one to know one,” Alex muttered softly. 

Maggie just snorted and they fell into a comfortable silence for several minutes.

“I want to make it up to you. I mean, I know I can’t, really, but I want to try,” Alex said as she pushed herself into her girlfriend further.

Maggie raised her eyebrow and smirked.

“Sex isn’t a long-term problem solver,” She said.

“We both agreed this isn’t a long-term problem,” Alex said.

“That’s true,” Maggie said with a smile. “It’s also way more fun than you feeling guilty forever.”

“I can’t promise I won’t do that,” Alex said. “This is the second stupidest thing I’ve done.”

“What’s the first?” Maggie asked.

“Telling my dad he was a selfish, short-sighted quack the day before he left,” Alex said. “This is a close second though.”

“I didn’t know I ranked so high,” Maggie said softly.

“Of course you do,” Alex said as she locked eyes with Maggie. “You’re important to me in ways that I didn’t think would ever happen to me.”

“Wow, you really double down on the whole commitment thing once you’re ready, don’t you?” Maggie said with wide eyes.

“For you? Yeah,” Alex said. “You’re worth it.”

“I guess now would be a good time to tell you that I’m not always as good as people in my life deserve about that,” Maggie said with a dry throat.

“I kind of already picked up on that,” Alex said with a small smile. “You’re better than you think you are, though.”

“I hope so,” Maggie said somberly as she felt a twinge in her stomach.

“I know so,” Alex said softly. Maggie and Alex stared into each other’s eyes for several more minutes.

“How did you offering make up sex get so serious?” Maggie whispered.

“Because under that shell you’re a big softie,” Alex said with a smile. 

“This is why commitment scares me. I lose all my street cred,” Maggie said with a smile. 

“We’ll just keep pretending that you had that when we met,” Alex said as she smiled back. 

“All right, Ms. Hard Ass Federal Agent, maybe it’s time to do something other than digging your own grave,” Maggie said with a light growl.

“But the digging is half the fun,” Alex said with a twinkle in her eye.

“Lay down on the ground then,” Maggie said as she stepped back from Alex and unbuttoned her jeans. “On your back. Face up.”

“Here?” Alex squeaked as her eyes went wide.

“Yes. Here. On the floor of my apartment,” Maggie said with an imperious look as she unzipped her pants. 

Alex slowly lowered herself down to the floor and then lay down on her back. Maggie planted her feet under Alex’s armpits as soon as she could, and then in one smooth motion pulled her pants and panties down to the tops of her shoes. Tilting her knees forward, she pinned Alex’s shoulders to the hard floor under her shins as her knees came to rest on either side of Alex’s head. Alex bit her lower lip as she got a delicious look at Maggie’s glistening folds, sitting just above her breastbone. 

Alex felt her breathe hitch as she stared at Maggie’s center.

“You ok with this, baby?” Maggie said in a low tone as she pushed her fingers through Alex’s hair. 

“Yes, definitely. Please,” Alex said as she put her hands delicately around the back of Maggie’s thighs.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Maggie said with a smile as she shifted her hips forwards and pulled Alex’s head up.

Alex greedily slid her tongue out and began lapping at Maggie’s offered center. Alex marveled at the sensory overload of being buried tongue deep in Maggie. Her entire world narrowed to between the apex of Maggie’s thighs. Alex’s only two thoughts became making sure that she continued to breathe in the periodic opportunities that Maggie wasn’t pressing herself into Alex’s nose and giving Maggie the thorough attention that she deserved. 

“Damn, Danvers, you’re a fast learner,” Maggie said in a breathy voice as she rocked forward onto Alex’s face again. Alex felt a swell of pride build in her chest as she redoubled her efforts, flattening her tongue further and reveling in the feeling of slick friction almost as much as the woman moaning above her. 

“I love how eager to please you are,” Maggie said as she gazed down at Alex’s half obscured face. “It’s fucking adorable.”

Alex whimpered underneath her and shifted her legs together as she felt herself respond to the praise below her waist.

“Getting antsy for my fingers already?” Maggie asked, punctuated with a gasp and a head roll as Alex hit a particularly pleasant spot.

Alex groaned in confirmation, her body wriggling underneath Alex’s enticingly. 

“Do a good job here, and maybe I’ll consider it when you’re bent over my lap,” Maggie said with a wicked grin. Alex whined and bobbed her head in time with Maggie’s languid hip movements, wide eyes staring into Maggie’s with gratitude and wonder. 

As Maggie locked eyes with Alex, she groaned as she felt a liquid fire build in her stomach to the point of bursting, her hips moving on their own. Her voice began to climb in octaves as she ground down onto Alex’s amazing tongue, making sure that Alex’s perfectly positioned nose rubbed just the way she liked against her clit. After several minutes, she felt herself peaking and let out a loud, groaning as the flood from between her legs flowed steadily over Alex’s chin and cheeks.

Pulling herself off the redhead as the aftershocks faded, Maggie shifted her hips down to Alex’s slim chest and bent over to capture Alex’s lips in a deep kiss. Alex’s lips parted, letting Maggie slide her tongue into the offered opening and letting her taste herself in the lithe woman’s mouth.

“Does it make me weird and possessive to say that I love tasting myself on your tongue?” Maggie asked.

“I take the fifth. I’ve already dug my hole for today,” Alex said with a faux innocent smile.

“Glad you’re already feeling comfortable enough to write checks you can’t cash,” Maggie said with lidded eyes before her face turned slightly serious. “I know we talked about spanking over text today, but I’m just checking in that you still want that.”

“I mean um, yeah, I do. As long as you still do too,” Alex mumbled.

“First off, fuck yes do I want this. You have a great ass,” Maggie said. “Second off, you’re going to have to be a lot more convincing than that.”

“Maggie, please, please spank me,” Alex said with a deep blush on her face even though Maggie was the one partially naked.

“You’re so eager to please,” Maggie said with a wolfish grin. “I guess I should give you the opportunity to show me how much you want to please me.”

“Thank you,” Alex said as Maggie kicked off her pants and underwear as she stood up.

Alex began to pick herself up off the ground when she felt Maggie put a firm hand on her shoulder.

“Did I say you could get up yet?” Maggie said authoritatively as Alex felt herself shudder from the tone Maggie was using with her. 

“No, Maggie,” Alex said as she turned her eyes up to Maggie’s, searching for approval. She found Maggie licking her lips and looking down at her predatorily.

“As sexy at it is to watch you walk, I want to see you crawl,” Maggie said as she quickly sat down on her bed several feet away in the next room. “Now strip and get your ass over here.”

Alex felt herself aching in her panties, wet and desperate and in dire need of release. She suppressed the urge to rip off her clothes instantly as a thought took root in her mind. Not pausing to think, knowing that doing so would cause her to freeze up and fall into a spiral of self-doubt and dysphoria, Alex sat back on her heels and pushed out her chest as she slowly unzipped her DEO tactical top, letting the zipper slow further as it brushed past her naval. 

“Taking your time?” Maggie asked. 

“You said to strip, so I’m stripping,” Alex said with a smile that she tried not to tinge with nervousness.

“Well, um, wow. Can you always say sorry this way?” Maggie asked as she shifted in the bed, her entire attention on her girlfriend as she finished unzipping her jacket fully before she turned around and pushed her ass into the air before she slowly pulled down her pants.

“Like what you see?” Alex asked coyly, as she felt her stomach drop out from under her in anticipation instead of anxiety for once. The exposure she felt doing this was more than being naked, even though she theoretically had more clothes on, as she felt Maggie’s penetrating gaze fall over all of her curves and crevices as she slowly pulled her pants over her slim hips and down her long thighs.

“Fuck yeah I like what I see,” Maggie said, and Alex could practically hear the grin in Maggie’s voice. “I hope there isn’t a no touching rule in this establishment though.”

“You’re the one in charge,” Alex said as she slipped her pants off over her ankles before rolling onto her ass and splaying her legs for Maggie before she could think critically about the move.

“Mmm, I like being able to see you horny for me with a glance,” Maggie said as she bit her lip and her gaze fell directly between Alex’s legs. Alex blushed deeply when she realized what she was doing and what Maggie was referencing, but she felt herself glued in place by Maggie’s lustful stare. 

“That said, I’ve never been known for my patience. Take that bra off and get over my knee, Danvers. Leave the panties. Those are for me to drop,” Maggie said with a wicked grin.

Alex quickly took her bra off and began crawling towards Maggie, who had a lecherous grin plastered to her face the entire time. Alex felt the same type of quaking pride swell in her chest as she crossed the suddenly very long distance between her and Maggie, Alex initially overestimating the speed at which she could crawl on all fours along the ground.

“I could watch your ass do that all day,” Maggie said. “I wouldn’t get much done, other than you, but it would be worth it.”

“Thank you,” Alex mumbled softly as she finally made it to Maggie’s lap and pulled herself up onto the bed and over Maggie’s shapely thighs.

“Anytime, baby,” Maggie said lightly as she put her hand on Alex’s rear, groping her thoroughly. Alex shivered at the gentle touch in anticipation of what was coming next. 

“What’s the safe word?” Maggie asked.

“L7,” Alex said breathily before letting out small yelp of surprise as Maggie’s hand came down on her still panty clad cheek.

“Correct,” Maggie said. “And what do you say when I stop?”

“One. Thank you, Maggie, may I have another?” Alex asked as she shifted her legs in anticipation, feeling the slight tingling in her rear that was creating a much deeper sensation in her groin.

“Good girl,” Maggie said as she peeled down Alex’s panties, letting the cool air wash over her girlfriend’s ass. “Tell me if it gets to be too much, Danvers.”

Maggie began spanking her in earnest, raining down blows at a furious pace. Alex twisted and whined under the loud slaps, trying to keep her mind on the task of recording how many blows she had received. The sharp tingling and her own libido seemed to be teaming up to distract her from her task, and soon she lost control of her body in her efforts to keep track for Maggie. Her hips were unconsciously rolling backwards into the blows and she was whimpering quietly with each spank by the time Maggie stopped, pulling Alex’s hair back with her free hand to signal the cessation of her activity.

“Twenty-four. Thank you, Maggie, may I have another?” Alex gasped out as she wiggled her hips on Maggie’s lap, subconsciously searching for some kind of friction between her thighs.

“You know how I said I could watch your ass all night? I lied. I don’t think I would be able to just watch after doing this,” Maggie said as she rubbed Alex’s burning cheeks lovingly. “You’re one of a kind, Danvers.”

“Thank you,” Alex said, as her face began to match the shade of her rear. “And thank you for doing this.”

“I can honestly say any time,” Maggie said with a smirk before she gave Alex three quick slaps to accentuate her point.

“Twenty-seven. Thank you, Maggie, could I please have another?” Alex asked. 

“As long as you’re having a good time,” Maggie said as she casually let her hand wander down Alex’s legs to her knees before trailing back up Alex’s long thighs.

“Please keep going,” Alex practically whined as she raised her ass into the air invitingly. 

“Mmmm, wish granted,” Maggie said as she began raining down a much harder series of blows. Alex felt her mind slipping into a pleasant space as she felt the stinging from the spanking as a liquid warmth seeping deep into her bones. She squirmed under the rain of blows as she felt herself run over with desire, pushing herself further into the air and spreading her legs instinctively. Moments later, Maggie gave her one last emphatic slap before letting her hand rest on Alex’s well-warmed ass. 

“43. Thank you, Maggie, may I have another?” Alex said in a strained voice as she tried to control the deep shudders running through her body as she kept her well-warmed rear in the air for Maggie.

“I’ve never been into the whole presenting thing, but you might be changing my mind,” Maggie said with a grin as she pushed two fingers along the cleft of Alex’s cheeks. Reaching onto the nightstand, Alex heard Maggie deftly opened a bottle of lube with one hand. Alex shivered when she felt the cool liquid run down between her cheeks, half from the temperature change and half in anticipation of what Maggie was going to do next. 

Alex couldn’t contain a moan as Maggie rubbed Alex delicately on the thin stretch of skin directly between her legs, tips sliding along the moisture of the lube before traveling upwards to Alex’s rim. Upon reaching their destination, Maggie’s fingers began to slowly circle Alex’s hole. 

“Fuck,” Maggie said quietly. “I never knew how hot anal could be, but this is… a good way to say sorry. A very good way.”

“I shouldn’t find that statement hot,” Alex said before her back arched as the tip of Maggie’s index finger slid just inside of her.

“Mmm, and why shouldn’t you like it that I find my girl hot?” Maggie said as she gently wriggled the half of her finger inside of Alex, causing Alex to lightly kick her feet against the mattress.

“It’s just so… arrogant,” Alex said as she gasped in response to Maggie penetrating her further.

“Little Miss Fed is certainly one to talk. Or moan, rather,” Maggie said as she slowly started to move her finger in languid circles. Alex sighed as Maggie warmed up her muscular ring and Maggie began to squeeze her still burning cheek. 

“I just never went for douchey guys,” Alex got out before groaning as Maggie briefly retracted her finger before she pushed back in with another.

“Oh, so that’s how you see me? A douchey guy?” Maggie said with a quirked eyebrow even as she started to slowly move her fingers back and forth into Alex.

“No, that’s not-” Alex interrupted herself with a low groan as Maggie curled her fingers inside of Alex. “I’m not used to being submissive. Like this.”

“Does it feel wrong? When I say things like that?” Maggie said as she began to pick up the pace of her fingering.

“No,” Alex gasped out. “Just not w-what I thought. Like I’ve been competing my whole life and I’m happy to lose to you.”

“God, you’re gay,” Maggie said as she leaned forward for added leverage as she plied another deep moan out of Alex as she increased the speed of her thrusting. “Still rude though. I might have to have you say sorry again.”

“I don’t know if that’s a threat or an excuse,” Alex said half coherently as she writhed under Maggie’s fingers. 

“Guess I’m just hedging my bets,” Maggie said. “Now the important question is do you want me to touch, uh… fuck, uh, help me out Danvers? What should I call parts?”

“If you need to, use the anatomical terms,” Alex said as she turned her head towards her girlfriend. “Keeps it clinical. I’d prefer you didn’t refer to it if you can manage.”

“Mmmm, can do, Danvers,” Maggie said before her voice returned to its previously authoritarian bent as Alex clutched the sheets as Maggie returned to her previous pace. “Do you want me to touch you?” 

“Yes,” Alex moaned as Maggie curled her fingers inside of Alex, hitting the spot inside of her that caused her toes to curl. 

“Is that why you spread your legs for me? Was that why you put that cute little ass in the air? Because you need me to touch you?” Maggie asked as she continued pushing into Alex’s rear.

“Yes,” Alex gasped before she felt herself lose all coherent thought as Maggie gently reached underneath her. Alex felt pleasure begin to overflow from her pelvis into her legs and stomach as she lost control in each new area, spasming in a powerful rhythm in response to Maggie’s ministrations. She felt a final explosion of the feeling as it shot through her body all along the center of her body, rushing in all directions at once as she felt herself clench tightly around Maggie’s fingers. Maggie kept up her insistent pace, cooing sweet nothings in Alex’s ear as she rode out her orgasm. Eventually, Alex came down from her lust induced high to be able to hear Maggie speak again.

“That feel good?” Maggie asked as she smeared the mess Alex had made in her lap onto the redhead’s toned stomach.

“Yes,” Alex said as she groaned as she felt Maggie pull her fingers out of her stretched rear and place her still wet hand on Alex’s lower back, allowing her to gently hold onto Alex’s torso. “I like it when you hold me.”

“Well, I like holding you,” Maggie said with a smile as she put her hands-on Alex’s hips and rolled them both down on the bed with Maggie spooning her deceptively delicate looking girlfriend.

“I never want this to end,” Alex said quietly as Maggie nuzzled her neck. Maggie stiffened slightly before she felt Alex tugging her arm to wrap around Alex’s shoulders and sit between her small breasts. It felt too distractingly right for Maggie’s brain to try to sabotage this moment. She knew that would happen eventually, but for now she wasn’t looking the gift horse in the mouth. 

“I want that, too,” Maggie murmured into Alex’s ear, sealing the statement with a small kiss behind Alex’s ear.

“If this is how relationships are supposed to feel, I can see what the big deal is,” Alex said as she absentmindedly nuzzled Maggie’s hand. 

“I know what you mean,” Maggie said with a slightly distant look in her eyes before she turned back to kissing along the soft hairs at the base of Alex’s neck.

“I should probably get cleaned up before I fall asleep,” Alex said. 

“Probably,” Maggie said as she smiled into Alex’s hair.

“Was that a good enough apology?” Alex asked.

“Yeah. I’d say that was a very good apology,” Maggie said as she focused on Alex’s steady breathing beneath her, letting the taller woman’s respiration soothe her nerves. 

“Thank you,” Alex said sweetly, kissing Maggie’s fingers one by one. 

“Of course,” Maggie said as she focused on the skin on skin contact she was sharing with a woman who could be a model. Maggie wished she could say so much more, something more personal that would convey the tumult of emotions banging around inside of her body. Maggie wished she could say ‘I love you,’ but being curled up around her girlfriend, safe and warm in her bed would do for now. Maybe she didn’t have to say it. 

Alex interrupted Maggie’s line of thought with a small statement that Maggie could feel reverberate in her chest. 

“I don’t deserve you,” Alex said as she curled further around Maggie’s hand.

“Yes, you do, Alex. You deserve nice things, no matter how many times you tell yourself you don’t,” Maggie said as she lightly squeezed Alex’s chest. “No more self sabotage. That’s my thing.”

“I can’t promise that. Wanna take turns going forward?” Alex asked.

“I guess that could do,” Maggie said as she lazily stretched her free hand to squeeze Alex’s ass. “I might play dirty to get extra turns though.”

“Fine by me,” Alex said as she arched slightly into Maggie’s touch. “Join me cleaning up before bed?” 

“Gladly,” Maggie said with a grin as she followed her girlfriend to the shower. 

Maggie let Alex’s gentle lips and the warm water wash away any thoughts lingering in the back of her mind.


	4. Illumination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A special Maggie centric chapter, in which she yells at inanimate objects

Maggie knew she was in deep trouble. She wished that she could have seen this coming earlier, to maybe soften the blow or change course before she lost all hope of escaping the gravity well she found herself stuck in.

But it was too late for that now. Now there was tiramisu, and good booze and a what looked suspiciously like a gold embroidered card. Even worse, it was all so simple and minimalistic, like someone, no, Alex, only Alex would have this much information, was trying to make this… palatable. Like this could be something that she would enjoy, like someone drowning her in lukewarm water to make sure she was comfortable. Maggie felt the cold sweat and the tingling sensation break out on her scalp, and it was all that she could keep from smashing the speakers when she turned off the music.

She wished her initial instinct that someone had broken in had been correct, because right now she needed to hit something. Hard.

And then Alex had come out with a flourish, stupid sweet Alex with a confused look in her giant Bambi eyes like this was Maggie’s fault for not rolling over and playing along with this stupid charade. Maggie had barely been able to keep her hands and voice from shaking when she had stormed out. Because despite everything, despite her long years of misanthropy and being a cop and learning way too young that no one never lets you down for some reason all that had went out the window for a pair of soft, trusting eyes and a black cat suit.

Maggie berated herself as she tore along the surface streets on her bike, edging the line between reckless and efficient as she left the city limits. She didn’t know where she was driving, she just needed to be away, because despite National City being hers it had somehow become theirs, hers and Alex’s together. Like some kind of alien symbiosis that she was sure that Alex could name as a real thing. How could she have missed so many warning signs?

Maggie gunned the engine and pushed the thought out of her mind as she ignored the tears wetting the inside of her helmet’s padding. 

Eventually, she found herself back by the greyhound bus stop again. Pulling into the parking lot, she turned off her bike, pulling off her helmet as she sat back and looked around. 

Letting out a deep sigh, she remembered the last time she had come here, freshly off her shift and therefore just between drinking bouts of the shitty vodka she’d been pouring into every one of her drinks. She preferred bourbon, but it was an expensive hobby for a cop and well out of her price range to get shit faced on it for any kind of regular basis. But fermented potato juice? Exactly in her price range when she needed something to dull the pain of losing Emily.

Walking over to the third light pole in the parking lot, she stopped short. 

“Hey, what the fuck is up with this light pole?” Maggie yelled at a man sitting in the guard shack. “It’s different.”

“Yeah, we had to change it a couple months ago. Kids kept carving shit into that one for years, so we had to get a new one,” the guard said.

“What do you mean? Where is it?” Maggie said angrily.

“Hell, if I know, lady. The dump, probably. Why do you care?” the guy said. 

“I-I don’t,” Maggie said as she turned away towards her bike, feeling hot tears begin to prick her eyes.

“Whatever,” the guard said, opening his worn paperback again. 

Maggie tried to keep herself in check, tried to simply ride away into the night, but she couldn’t. Not when Alex had looked at her like that. Like she cared, like she was concerned about Maggie when Maggie started yelling at her. Like maybe her Alex Danvers wasn’t a fever dream created by her own loneliness but might actually be a person, a good person, that Maggie had just don’t her absolute best to find the pettiest thing she could think of to blow up their relationship.

Like always.

Letting out an unearthly scream, Maggie turned around and slapped the pole as hard as she could, scream getting louder as she felt the numbing pain reverberate through her entire arm. 

“Christ! Lady, what is your issue?” the man asked as Maggie stormed back to her bike, peeling out of the dingy parking lot to start the twenty-minute ride back to her apartment. 

Maggie felt the tears on her cheeks flow more freely. How dare they take down the pole that she had carved her name, her real, her shortened name, not the catholic monstrosity her mother had tried to tie her down with, into when she was fresh off the greyhound from the middle of nowhere? It predated her Aunt being in her life, even if only by half an hour as she had waited to be picked up for the first time in a new and alien world from bumblefuck, Nebraska. 

Maggie mentally kicked herself when her first instinct at feeling the pang of the loss of her own personal monument to arriving at National City was to text Alex about it. Like Alex would be able to understand and not tell her it was stupid to get so worked up over something so small. 

No, Maggie chastised herself lightly, that wasn’t Alex, that was her mother talking. Alex would get it, would tell it her it was alright to be upset and then might do something nice like offer to make a new memorial. She would probably even keep it from getting to unbearably serious by saying something about a cop admitting to vandalizing public property.

Fuck. Maggie hated it when she knew she had fucked up.

Slumping slightly into the motorcycle, she sighed as she finally put two and two together. Of course she had sought out the only place that was indisputably her territory in the city, the place she came to pat herself on the back about being a lone wolf and the place where she had the sharpest memory of rejection. Maggie sighed wearily as she pulled over to the shoulder as her helmet started to fog up from the drying tears.

Opening the visor and quickly blotting her eyes, Maggie spent several minutes looking up into the night sky. She imagined Alex must be doing the same thing, somewhere, if she knew her girlfriend. Hopefully she was still her girlfriend. Pulling her visor back down, Maggie let out a huff as she pulled back onto the freeway. She was going to sleep tonight off and then in the morning try to face the music, one way or another. She shot off a few quick texts when she got home, already coming up with a few ways to try to say sorry to Alex, if only for interrupting the lingerie. 

The next day, Maggie walked into the DEO, only to run into the wrong Danvers sister. Kara had helped Maggie ground herself further into what she had already suspected. That she had royally screwed up. That she had probably made Alex feel humiliated last night, and Maggie knew that that was probably the sorest spot Alex had. That Alex had listened to her, and she had tried to come to a compromise on her own and the only reason that it backfired was that Alex wasn’t a mind reader. 

And ultimately, if Maggie was being honest, that she had set up the situation to end in failure by not telling Alex anything about her past life. Which wasn’t new with her girlfriends, it’s just that she wasn’t used to relying on them for emotional stability. She realized, with a shake of her head, that she expected things from Alex, that she wanted Alex to understand parts of her. 

Maggie snorted in annoyance, startling her partner, Conway, before she turned back to the dull paperwork she had been filling out. 

By the end of the day, Maggie had heard back from her network of favors. She didn’t have an excuse to put off calling Alex anymore. Everything was finally in place; she had managed to scrape together almost all her favors to get this together. Now she had to do the hard part.

Sighing, she called Alex and told her where to meet her, followed by far more anxious waiting than she was expecting considering that she had thrown this entire thing together at the last moment. 

And then Alex had tried to apologize to her, and Maggie felt a pang of anger at everyone in Alex’s life who had made her feel like she had to apologize for not doing the correct nice thing for the people she cared about. But it washed away in the next second when she got to see Alex’s entire face light 

And Alex had eaten it up. Way more than Maggie was hoping, even in her wildest dreams. They had danced, and eaten too much fancy food, and after a couple of glasses of champagne they had both cried while slow dancing to at 17 by Janis Ian (they were taking that particular detail to both of their graves). And then Alex had started kissing her and pulling her closer to her, and it wasn’t forceful except for how needy it was, like Alex was gently pulling Maggie into her. Like Alex couldn’t stop herself from kissing her or hugging her or stroking her sides or nuzzling her.

Maggie had never been one for artificial ideas about romance and sexuality. She liked girls. She liked to fuck. She wanted people in her life that she could respect. Whatever order she could fill those things in her life with she was good for. But feeling this hard woman, this lethal woman with giant wet eyes push into her personal space and emit low whimpers and barely audible whines as Maggie reciprocated her almost probing touches, she felt like a goddam hallmark card, and she knew she had to keep her mouth busy or otherwise a lot of things she couldn’t unsay were going to come out.

A short Lyft home, and Maggie couldn’t not think of this place as home now, in some way, and Alex was the one spreading her hand on the small of Maggie’s back and her tongue explore behind the curve of Maggie’s ear. Alex was the one reaching up under a shirt and unclasping a bra to run her hands over Maggie’s sensitive nipples. Alex was the one guiding them back to the bed, pushing her backwards, and falling on top of her. 

It wasn’t that Alex was in charge. Maggie had her hand in Alex’s pants, gently cupping and massaging and eliciting shivers and moans while she rubbed one of Alex’s sensitive nipples through her shirt with her thumb. Maggie didn’t know if she had a word for what this was, this nameless sharing of need and hurt and softness, but she did know that she didn’t want it to stop. She didn’t know if she could even ask for it to stop. She didn’t think Alex could either, as she looked into the wide blown pupils of her girlfriend as she gave her a pleading look, one of her hands spread over her well-defined abs while the other kneaded her breast tenderly. 

Suddenly Maggie’s clothes felt suffocating, and Alex’s doubly frustrating. With a growl, she pulled off her shirt and jacket in one motion, leaving a whimpering Alex to quickly understand the need for skin to skin contact as she quickly began stripping too. Sitting back, Ales quickly pulled her shirt and bra over her head, and Maggie was once again treated to the beautiful sight of Alex’s naked chest emphasized by her delicate pink nipples. Hungrily, Maggie bent upwards to cup one of the small breasts in her mouth and one in her hand, her tongue lovingly circling the small nub at the center as Alex let out several breathy exclamations at the sudden attention. 

Recovering, Alex reached down and threaded her hand into the hair on the side of Maggie’s head. After a moment, she guided Maggie’s head away from her exposed chest and back up to her own wet lips and tongue, exchanging a passionate kiss with the shorter woman as she guided them both back down to lay on the bed.

Maggie felt one of Alex’s calloused hands rub across the top of her chest as the other dipped to grasp her hip as Alex let her weight rest on top of Maggie, their legs interlocked as Maggie let her hand slide down to squeeze Alex’s slightly splayed ass. Maggie steadied Alex on top of her with another hand on her hip, feeling the gentle coiling and uncoiling of muscles as Alex ground herself into Maggie’s thigh and vice versa. Maggie drank in Alex’s quiet moans as she felt the taller woman woman’s body move with a languid grace around her, their breasts and stomachs and groins pushed together and moving in synchrony. Maggie broke the kiss Alex held her in with a slow yank of her teeth before moving to Alex’s inviting neck, eliciting the full-length spine arch Maggie was quickly associating as uniquely Alex as she sucked and licked nipped at Alex’s exposed throat. 

When Maggie felt her girl shudder on top of her, she knew it was time to finish undressing so that she could feel Alex’s soft legs on her knees and thighs and at her apex. Giving Alex’s ass one last squeeze, Maggie reached down and started fumbling with Alex’s pants buckle. Seconds later, Alex caught on and helped her quickly get off her and then Maggie’s pants in turn, and Maggie could finally feel Alex in full, her naked body pressing up against hers, from her muscular thighs to the gentle swell of her breast to her wet mouth that she was lovingly pressing into Maggie’s jawline. 

When Maggie stared into Alex’s eyes, she hoped that Alex could feel the ‘I love you’ burning a hole in her esophagus.

Alex tucked her chin into the crook of her neck and Maggie could feel Alex’s hot breath tickling the space behind her ear. Then Maggie increased the angle of her thigh just right and Alex spread her legs just a little bit more, and Maggie could hear her name coming in breathy whispers from Alex’s mouth. Slick sounds from between their thighs quietly added to the chanting and Maggie felt herself slip entirely into the moment as everything else that wasn’t Alex faded away from her notice. 

Maggie let her hands wander over Alex’s body as they rocked back and forth into one another, savoring her girlfriend’s shivering responses as she kept up a steady rhythm on top of her. Maggie relished her girlfriend’s new-found confidence in her body as she peppered her neck and collar bones with kisses without Maggie’s guidance. Maggie loved the feeling of Alex Danvers on top of her, and reveled in how easy it was to fall into the warmth and wetness that was the incredible woman on top of her.

Soon, Maggie was whispering a dirty suggestion into Alex’s ear, and Alex was blushing and biting her lower lip in a way that Maggie had deciphered as Alex’s way of saying that she had been thinking the same thing but was still working up the courage to suggest it herself. Nervously, Alex pushed herself up off Maggie but quickly made up for the lack of contact by swinging her body around and lowering herself down once again, kissing her way down Maggie’s parted thighs. Maggie murmured approval before she gripped her girl at the sensitive place where Alex’s beautiful thighs met her ass and spread her legs further apart. 

Taking one hand away from Alex’s thigh now that she was in the position Maggie wanted, the detective held Alex in her hand, unmoving while she lewdly licked the inside of Alex’s thighs. Maggie delighted in the wetness and swollen feeling of Alex’s most sensitive area in her hands, not a pressing insistence but rather a full, slow leaking. Maggie was interrupted from her reverence of this moment by feeling a hot ribbon press itself almost from her naval down to the base of her vulva in a long, broad, swipe that she couldn’t help but buck her hips into when Alex’s warm tongue swept over her clit. Not to be outdone, Maggie swirled her own tongue around Alex’s most sensitive bundle of nerves, and was rewarded with a gasp from Alex, who seemed to redouble her efforts at eating Maggie out.

They both continued in shared ecstasy as Maggie felt her mind slip fully into a Zen state as she was overcome by the sensations coming from her center and the smell of sex working its’ way into her mind. Soon her entire world had shrunk down to the fire that was being beautifully stoked between her legs and how to manipulate Alex in her mouth to keep her shivering and shuddering above her in such a delicious way. 

Soon, Maggie felt the shuddering above her begin to restrict to tighter movements as Alex’s muscles clenched in anticipation, and Maggie’s bucking hips responded in anticipation as she pushed into Alex’s eager face. Seconds later, Maggie, felt herself and Alex fall over the edge in near tandem, the shuddering woman above her matching Maggie’s own spasms as they came together. Coming down from the aftershocks, Alex turned around and slowly crawled up to Maggie’s lips to capture them in a sticky kiss as Maggie tasted herself and Alex mingle on their tongues. Matching Alex’s own hands, Maggie cupped the side of Alex’s face with her dry hand.

“Hey, could I ask if I could do something? It might sound kind of weird,” Maggie said hesitantly. Alex simply smiled at her.

As she was going to sleep that night, Maggie smiled when she thought of her name carved into the bottom of Alex’s wooden bed frame with the date and a broken heart, exactly like it had been at the bus stop with one small addition. A small arrow protruded from the two halves of the heart, binding them together. 

She snuggled further into the beautiful, understanding woman she was spooning and let her mind drift off to the sleep.


	5. Secret Agents Dream of Electric Dads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I'm just all over the place emotionally right now and it's making it a challenge to write this, especially with the CW being the CW again. There's no smut in this chapter, but there will be next chapter that will be almost a direct continuation of this chapter. I just had to post this piece since it's been sitting on my computer taunting me for months at this point since it was like the second thing I wrote for this fic. Sorry I'm disorganized and thank you for your continued support! You're amazing and Sanvers hurts right now, but it's worth fighting for!
> 
> Also there's some kind of emotionally heavy trans stuff here, so just a heads up

Alex really wished her reunion with her father had been more awkward. Of course, it wasn’t even like she could count on something going wrong when she needed it to.

Alex was used to awkward. She understood it. It was one of her oldest companions, along with crippling self-doubt and an admittedly problematic relationship with alcohol. She remembered sitting quietly at awkward dinners with just her parents, finally wearing the clothes that made her feel so much less uncomfortable and that marked her as broken all at once. The first dinner she had with her parents after she started taking pills had involved twenty-eight words. 

She counted. 

The dinners got more awkward after she started homeschooling in the eighth grade when she was labelled the goth freak that put a kid in the hospital. She remembered the awkward explanations with police officers and lawyers and her parents and principals about how Brett Makowski had been the one who brought the knife to school and threatened her, and having to explain to so many people why he would have done that. Eventually Someone decided she had paid enough penance for redirecting the knife away from herself and into Brett’s stomach and then running to call 911, and the awkward questions turned into awkward silences whenever a detail about it reemerged in their life before it was hastily moved on from.

Kara didn’t even know it had ever happened until years later.

Incredibly, the dinners somehow got worse when her parents had sprung a wide eyed blonde alien that was somehow better at being a human girl than she was on her with no warning. Alex knew, on some level, that it wasn’t Kara’s fault, but she couldn’t help but feel white hot rage at how her parents seemingly had separate dinners with Kara while she simply awkwardly sat at the dinner table at the same time.

They didn’t say it, but Alex knew why, and it would have been awkward to make them explain. So, she had to let her parents ask about Kara’s day, and Kara’s feelings, and Kara’s plans because they were so much safer than talking to their long-haired problem child who somehow kept up her grades despite being asked to care for Kara and herself.

Alex resulted to pettiness. She ditched Kara at school. She would ignore her perfect replacement daughter when she came into her room and sat in the corner like a sad puppy for hours, letting the awkwardness seep into her bones until she finally couldn’t focus on her homework anymore and interacted with her. She wasn’t proud of it, but she figured if she could learn to breath in the suffocating awkwardness so would Kara.

It didn’t help that her sister somehow still thought Alex was the coolest person on Earth even after all the unnecessary things Alex put her through. But Alex managed regardless.

After she started high school, everything became an awkward blur. She remembered jocks hitting on her and not putting her in trashcans, only to say things about her behind her back when she didn’t put out. The whispers she heard behind her back. Changing in the coach’s office day after day in PE and not being able to answer why without feeling like she was having a heart attack. Misjudging a nocturnal drinking binge the night before she had to give her final high school presentation so badly that she only started being hung over midway through.

But she walked across the stage and got her diploma and the chance to go to a top university. Then she hit college. Her coping mechanisms were suddenly cool. Nothing gets a reaction out of her, Danvers has ice in her veins. Danvers can drink you under the table and then go out the next night for more. Danvers will cut you with her tongue. 

And that helped blunt the pain. But it didn’t kill it. She had to wake up in a jail cell and be bailed out by a father figure who actually gave a damn to finally find some sort of bandage.

Then that band aid had been ripped off in front of everyone she loved. She had felt trapped and closed off and awkward all over again, and Alex had been spiraling like she hadn’t since she was 14 by herself for the entire night when Maggie walked in and asked her what was wrong.

“Ok, ok, let’s stop that,” Maggie said as she snagged the bourbon glass out of Alex’s hand. Alex finally started to feel again, and latched onto the only source of support that could possibly withstand the flood she was feeling inside of her.

“Hey, what happened? How was your dad’s first day back?” Maggie asked quietly as she kissed the top of Alex’s head, to which Alex could only whimper in response.

Alex tried to talk and nothing came out.

“It’s ok, it’s ok,” Maggie said as she hugged Alex back. “Did Cadmus come back?”

“I wanted to shoot him,” Alex whispered as she clung to Maggie. “I was going to kill him again.”

“Baby, what?” Maggie said.

“I knew he was working with Cadmus. I knew and I didn’t say because I wanted to shoot him,” Alex choked out. “I’m a fucking monster.”

“Alex, it’s going to be ok. I might need an explanation, but it’s going to be ok,” Maggie said. Alex turned her tear stained cheeks to face Maggie.

“He was working with Cadmus. I knew it. I let him get close again. My sister’s frat bro was right,” Alex sniffed. “All the signs were there. Cadmus practically gave him to us. He hadn’t aged a single day since his capture. His arm was made of fucking metal. I’m not that incompetent to miss little details like a cyborg arm in an X-ray.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Maggie asked.

“Because then I wouldn’t have gotten to shoot him,” Alex said. “Or at least what’s left of him. He’s alive, Maggie.”

“Didn’t you know that already?” Maggie asked in confusion. Alex shook her head.

“No. It’s him. It’s actually him, not some fake nice guy AI,” Alex said. “Cadmus can do that, you know. Make mechanical people. I thought… I thought there wasn’t any harm in it. Shooting his cyborg. I could get some fucking closure without actual patricide.”

“Closure on what?” Maggie asked. “Your entire family was acting like a Rockefeller painting when he came back.”

“I might have left out some parts about my past when I introduced you to my dad,” Alex said. “We might not have had the greatest relationship. I had to be sure it wasn’t him though, you know? I had to be sure. When he didn’t flip his lid when he saw you I knew it couldn’t be him. But it was. Out of nowhere, it was really him and he was standing in front of me and I had to choose to shoot him or let him go.”

“Ignoring the fact that you used me as a litmus test for robot dads, why would he have flipped out when he saw me?” Maggie said.

“Kara doesn’t remember this. Mom and Dad kept it from her, wanted to keep her sheltered as much as possible, and anything she does remember probably pales in comparison to losing her entire planet months earlier,” Alex said. “But me and my Dad would get into knock-down, drag out fights about transition. Over hormones, over presentation, over who we told, over being in school, over the stupidest little things. For years.”

“Shit. I had no idea,” Maggie said as she protectively squeezed Alex further into her.

“It’s generally not what you bring up about a robot everyone else thinks is your recently returned long lost father,” Alex said.

“But why use me?” Maggie asked.

“Autogynephilia,” Alex said with a disgusted snort.

“I’ve told you before I’m going to need your help to speak nerd,” Maggie said with a small smile.

“The condition of heterosexual fetishistic transvestites misaligning their sexual targeting towards their own bodies, primarily displayed by the continued sexual appetites of a heterosexual male,” Alex said with a sneer. “My father was, first and foremost, a man of science. A man of understanding and moderation. Too bad he wasn’t good at picking out quack sociology as he was at finding quack alien biology.”

“Baby,” Maggie said softly as she held Alex’s head against her body.

“He shouldn’t have been able to stand in the same room as me and just look past the fact that I was holding hands with a woman,” Alex said bitterly. “He should have said something to jerk off his pathological need to be right. All he said was that some things have changed. Like it was nothing some good ole family spirit couldn’t paper over.”

Alex snorted and shook her head.

“When I say it out loud, maybe that should have been my first clue he was real. No robot could be that infuriating,” She said. 

“Hey, no one makes us batty quite like family,” Maggie said with a sad smile. “And for the record, you are not a monster.”

“Wouldn’t have even been my first parricide,” Alex said darkly.

“What?” Maggie asked.

“You remember the time everyone’s brain’s almost exploded? Kara’s Aunt was part of the group of Kryptonians who did that. I killed her, too,” Alex said in an oddly hollow voice. “It’s called Avunculicide. I looked it up.”

“Alex, you where protecting people,” Maggie said.

“I don’t protect people. I bury them,” Alex said. “It’s fun to pretend we have the same job, but we don’t. I’m black ops for a reason, Maggie. When people die at your job it’s because something went wrong. When someone dies at my job, it’s because something went right.”

“Jesus, you’re a morose drunk,” Maggie said, gripping Alex’s arms gently as she lowered her eyes to be level with Alex’s. “Danvers: you help people. You’re one of the good guys. You might have to make some morally grey decisions, but that’s pragmatism, not evil. None of this mopey stuff. I don’t allow anti-hero’s in my life.”

“I tried to manipulate my loved ones into a situation where I could shoot a robot version of my father,” Alex said blankly.

“Which is something we are going to talk about when you’re sober,” Maggie said. “But wanting closure for shit your dad put you through based on ridiculous shit he heard from other people? That’s an ok thing to want. Hell, I kind of want to shoot him now.”

“I love you,” Alex mumbled into Maggie’s stomach as she hugged and gave the shorter woman a light nuzzle.

“To be clear, you are buying me a fuckton of tiramisu for this. Also, more bourbon,” Maggie said as she helped Alex stand up. “Right now, though, we’re getting you into bed.”

“That’s a place I really like,” Alex said with a smile before her face suddenly turned remorseful again. “I’m sorry I keep making you take care of me.”

“Alex, I have dated needy women, and I can assure you that you are pretty much the opposite of that,” Maggie said. “And it’s not like I don’t pull shit, too, sometimes.”

“I feel so bad though,” Alex said as Maggie plopped her down on the edge of her bed. “Maggie, I don’t wanna lose you.”

“Danvers, you’re not gonna lose me,” Maggie said softly. “Ride or die.”

“Maggie, I- thank you,” Alex whispered before she dragged Maggie into a deep kiss. After several seconds, Alex drunkenly pulled her girlfriend on top of her, deepening the kiss. Maggie felt a deep ache in her chest as Alex broke the kiss, and gently moved to strip Alex of her clothing, peppering her girlfriend with kisses in all the spots she was laying bare. Once Alex was naked, Maggie pulled the blankets up over Alex, before quickly stripping herself and climbing in next to her to pull Alex’s head up to her chest. Alex pulled the now toasty covers up over her head to cover them both before she pushed her face into Maggie’s chest and trembled at the reassuring hand wrapping around the back of her head, holding her like she was worthy of gentle things. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” Alex asked into Maggie’s chest and Maggie let out a low chuckle.

“The real question is what did I ever do to deserve you?” Maggie said back. “You’ve saved the world, like what, a dozen times? I pat myself on the back for cracking a cold case.”

“Yeah, but-” Alex mumbled.

“No buts. I don’t wanna have to fight you over disrespecting my girl, but I will,” Maggie said with a stern look.

“But if you kicked my ass then my badass girlfriend would be pretty pissed at you,” Alex said as a small smile broke through her squinched up eyebrows.

“Guess we’ll just have to call a truce then,” Maggie said with a smile.

“Guess so,” Alex said as she lay her head gently against Maggie’s chest, focusing on her calm breathing. 

“Maggie?” Alex said softly.

“Yeah?” Maggie murmured down to her.

“Thanks for understanding,” Alex said.

“Anytime, Danvers,” Maggie said before she pressed a kiss to the top of Alex’s head.

“I’m glad I don’t have to feel awkward around you,” Alex muttered as she drifted off to sleep. Maggie’s eyebrows knitted briefly at the odd phrasing, but she figured she would talk about it with Alex in the morning.

Alex awoke feeling Maggie’s strong arm around settled loosely over her waist, comfortably protective of her as Maggie let out steady breaths behind her. Alex felt a warmth spread through her chest when Maggie responded to her shifting to pull her closer to her with a small noise of discontentment. Alex was surprised she was the one to wake up first, given how much she had to drink last night, before she felt how dry and swollen her tongue felt in her mouth. 

Pressing a small kiss into Maggie’s hand, Alex disentangled herself from her loving girlfriend as she slipped into the kitchen. Pouring herself a glass of water, she threw some eggs in a pan as she groggily rooted around for her hormones. Swalllowing the pills, she guzzled the water before turning back to the eggs. Seconds later, she felt Maggie’s arms slip around her waist from behind as she kissed the back of Alex’s neck.

“Morning, beautiful,” Maggie said.

“Hey, you,” Alex said with a small smile. “I was going to do the whole breakfast in bed apology thing.”

“Well, I do like having you for breakfast,” Maggie said as her hands wandered to just over the cleft of Alex’s hip bones and to just under her breast.

“I was thinking a more nutritious kind of breakfast,” Alex as she tried to focus on the eggs despite Maggie’s probing fingers.

“Hey, I was suggesting an option that is negative calories, gluten-free, and doesn’t have any added sugar,” Maggie said as one of her hands slipped up underneath the large t-shirt Alex was wearing. “I’d say that’s a damn healthy way to start the day.”

“What you’re saying does have some real scientific merit,” Alex said thoughtfully as she shoveled the eggs onto two waiting plates before putting on some bacon.

“You could use the endorphins, you know. Might help with feeling mopey,” Maggie said, and Alex hung her head.

“Maggie, I meant what I said last night. Maybe not in quite the melodramatic way I said it, but violence is a part of me,” Alex said quietly. “I know why I did it and I would do all of it again in the same situation. I think it’s important that you know what you’re getting into.”

“And I meant what I said. Alex, you are an incredible woman, and I’m lucky to be with you. Ride or die. That and you’re a super dramatic drunk,” Maggie said with a small smile.

“Tell that to college freshman Alex,” Alex said ruefully. “It would have saved me a boat load of trouble.”

“You were a secret party girl, weren’t you?” Maggie asked smugly.

“Mmmm, sure, act like you’ve got me all figured out,” Alex said playfully. “What was college Maggie like? Entirely focused on grades and not chasing everyone in a skirt?”

“Hey, I didn’t chase the guys in skirts,” Maggie said defensively.

“I stand corrected,” Alex said with a smirk.

“Well, I’m pretty sure college Maggie would have been all up in your business, skirt or no,” Maggie said as she stepped into Alex’s personal space and slipped her hands down to grab Alex’s ass with both hands.

“Well if you’re this grabby after you’ve been tempered with old age I suppose I believe you,” Alex said.

“You’ve got a grabbable ass, what can I say,” Maggie said with a grin as she handed Alex a cup and poured each of them a cup of coffee.

“You kiss your girlfriend with that mouth?” Alex asked.

“Yep,” Maggie said with a shit eating grin before she leaned in and pecked Alex on the lips. “No hang over?”

“Not the physical kind, at least,” Alex said. “Maybe a little bit of the emotional kind.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Maggie asked. 

“If that’s ok?” Alex asked as she shoveled the finished bacon onto the plates and turned off the stove.

“Danvers, of course that’s ok,” Maggie said with a gentle smile as she gave Alex a reassuring touch on the arm before she took the plate Alex offered her. 

“I guess I talked about it last night, mostly. I guess it’s just that I clearly have some unresolved issues with my dad,” Alex said as they sat at the table. “And now a hate group with some serious resources has access to the alien registry. All because my dad is trying to protect me in the worst possible way and making the whole thing worse off.”

“Oof, preaching to the choir,” Maggie said with a half-smile.

“I let my dad give Cadmus that list,” Alex said.

“And you’ll stop them. Need I remind you that you had the best read on the situation out of anyone there? That your dad fooled a 300-year-old telepath and someone who can literally tell if someone’s heart rate jumps from across the room?” Maggie said. “Don’t crucify yourself for this. Get even.”

“You’re right. We’ll stop them. It just takes me back, is all. Not in a good way,” Alex said. “It’s even more frustrating this time because other people are going to get hurt.”

“I know,” Maggie said sadly, reaching over the table and grabbing Alex’s hand. “Can I help?”

“Maggie, you’ve already helped so much,” Alex said with a grateful smile as she put her hand over Maggie’s.

“I’m was being serious about the whole endorphins thing, you know,” Maggie said with a grin. “Let you clear your head so you can go into it full steam.”

“I’m noticing a theme to your type of problem solving,” Alex said with a sly smile.

“What can I say? I stick to what I’m good at,” Maggie said, and Alex laughed.

“Fair point,” Alex said. “So what do I need in your expert opinion?”

“Well, I’ve got an hour and a half before my shift starts, so I was thinking maybe you could go get ready in the bathroom and I could clean up breakfast, and then when you come out I can bend you over and reintroduce you to Bertha,” Maggie said in a low voice as Alex felt a strong contraction below her naval.

“Yes please,” Alex said quietly before Maggie reached across and took Alex’s chin between her thumb and forefinger.

“Be quick for me, pretty girl,” Maggie said before she pulled Alex into a deep kiss that didn’t last nearly long enough. After recovering from the wave of lust Maggie had so easily built in her, Alex practically ran to the shower.


	6. Off the Back Burner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!
> 
> Remember how last chapter I implied they fucked? Well, they fucked. Here you go

Half an hour later, Alex came out of the steaming bathroom in her towel to see Maggie cockily leaning backwards on the rear of the couch, wearing nothing except for a strap-on and a smirk that turned Alex’s legs to jelly. A bottle of lube hung loosely in one her hands, giving away her intentions as much as the slow once over she gave her girlfriend, who only stood there slightly dumbfounded.

“Drop the towel,” Maggie growled.

Alex felt herself shiver as she let the towel fall to the ground. When she reached towards her beautiful girlfriend, Maggie stopped her.

“Did I tell you to move?” Maggie asked with a light smirk.

“No,” Alex said as she felt herself grow hot under the skin.

“I want to touch you, and you’re going to let me,” Maggie said as she pushed herself off the couch, looking into Alex’s eyes with a dark glitter.

“Can I touch you?” Alex asked softly, reminding herself to breathe.

“Not yet. Stand still,” Maggie said as she traced a single finger from the bottom of Alex’s thigh past her hip.

She smiled as Alex shuddered. Her finger continued up to the underside of on Alex’s small breasts, lightly supporting it and depressing the skin. After holding her finger there for half a moment as Alex’s chest to gently quavered in Maggie’s finger, she moved her finger up over the peak and back down the valley of Alex’s body. Alex’s breathing became even more unsteady at the attention and her nipples quickly peaked in the cold air. 

Once she had achieved her desired effect, Maggie’s finger began journeying down Alex’s stomach, coming to rest just above Alex’s crotch.

“Your skin’s so soft for someone who tries to be so hard,” Maggie said gently.

“I don’t want to be hard. Not towards you,” Alex said as she tried to keep her shuddering under control. 

“Never. But you’re already excited at the idea of getting fucked,” Maggie said evenly as her hand moved to Alex’s center, cupping her as she gasped gently.

“Yes. I love you making love to me, Maggie,” Alex said.

“I’m not going to make love to you. I’m going to fuck you, and that’s what you want. You want me to pull your hair back and push you over and take you from behind until you scream yourself hoarse and the loudest sound in the room is my thighs slapping against your ass,” Maggie said as her other hand crept up the side of Alex’s neck. “Now come here.”

When she moved closer, Maggie pulled Alex down into a deep kiss, pushing their bodies together. Alex let her hands drape around Maggie’s flanks and feel the heat of the shower mingle with the heated flush that Maggie had already pulled out of her body, like some kind of psychosomatic response to her touch. Alex’s toned body was gently turned around until she was the one who felt the backs of her thighs pushed firmly into the upholstery of the couch behind her, body already throbbing under Maggie’s wet lips and firm touch. The hard silicone pressed to her thigh reminded her of her girlfriend’s intentions, and Alex didn’t even try to suppress the shiver that raced through her. 

Maggie let her hands roam down Alex’s front, briefly stopping on their downward path briefly to caress Alex’s breasts and pebbled nipples before sliding down to her hips. Breaking the kiss with a smile, Maggie guided Alex’s hips around in a circle, turning her girlfriend to face away from her before she pressed up against Alex’s back. 

“You’re going to look so good bent over our couch,” Maggie whispered, and Alex wasn’t sure if it was the tone or the fact that Maggie called the couch theirs that had her weak at the knees. Either way, she was glad for the support when Maggie steadily pushed against Alex’s lower back until she was bent in half, resting on the couch just below her naval with her shaky legs splayed out to the sides. 

“Thank you, Maggie,” Alex said in a breathy voice as she felt Maggie’s hands running the length of her back before moving past the base of her spine to cup her ass in both hands. 

“Anytime, Danvers,” Maggie said.

Alex could practically feel the smirk on the shorter woman’s face as the cool girth of the strap-on slipped between the cleft of her cheeks, centimeters away from penetrating her. Alex gave a small sound of surprise when she felt Maggie give her a firm swat across the ass, one that quickly turned into a groan as she felt the warmth blossoming in her rear. Alex’s perception narrowed down to the finger rubbing small circles around her rear entrance, her hips spasming on their own accord as she felt the cool lube rubbed into her sensitive skin.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” Alex said breathily as Maggie slipped a finger inside the redhead, to be rewarded with Alex pushing back onto the probing digit.

“Does my girl like getting taken from behind?” Maggie asked as she laced her fingers into Alex’s hair, anticipating the languid arch of Alex’s back into her hand and tugging just hard enough to illicit a gasp from Alex. 

“Yes,” Alex said in a deep exhale as she felt a fiery twinge of desire lance from her naval to her groin. 

“You’re so sweet for me,” Maggie said with a smile as she studied Alex’s face as she began to wiggle her finger as she searched for the firm button of pleasure inside of Alex’s warm, clenching passage. She was rewarded with a breathy sigh as soon as she found it, reveling in the feeling of Alex’s legs shaking against hers.

“Another finger, please,” Alex gasped as she humped backwards against Maggie’s obliging fingers. 

“Of course, my greedy girl,” Maggie said with an edge in her voice. 

She increased the pace of her fingers, biting her lip at the sight of her fingers disappearing into Alex’s pliant hole. As she felt Alex relaxing into her fingers, Maggie slowed and then slipped her fingers out of Alex to a small noise of protest. Maggie quickly lined up her strap on and pushed it in to fill the emptiness, pushing in until she felt Alex’s warm thighs press up against hers. 

“Oh god,” Alex said as she closed her eyes in pleasure.

Alex ground back against Maggie as much as the shorter woman’s firm grip on her hair would allow. Maggie groaned as she felt Alex’s cheeks tense and untense as she gyrated her hips and responded by thrusting her own hips forward against the small bump on the back of the strap on. She grunted as she stimulated her clit against the thick intruder inside of Alex, relishing getting Alex off like this. 

“Shit, I love seeing your body move like that,” Maggie said as she watched shivers of anticipation move along Alex’s spine. “I love seeing that big brain of yours starts short-circuiting when you need to get fucked. You’re so fucking pretty when you’re bent over and moaning for me.”

“Oh god, thank you so much, this feels so, so good Maggie, but please, fuck me,” Alex said as Maggie’s free hand traced fingers along her spine.

“Anything for you, Danvers,” Maggie said as she started teasingly slipping the dildo back and forth at a slow rhythm.

Alex moaned loudly as Maggie began picking up speed, her knees shaking slightly as they betrayed how close to jelly they already felt like. Maggie bent over Alex, reaching up to gently knead Alex’s small breasts as her own pushed into her lover’s back. Alex responded with a whimper, arching her back and pushing her chest and ass further into Maggie in an athletic display.

“God, I love having you under me like this,” Maggie grunted as she focused on her stroke game. 

“Maggie, this feels so good, _Maggie_ ,” Alex said after a particularly forceful thrust.

Maggie kissed the base of Alex’s neck as she continued her steady rhythm. Alex was glad that the walls were soundproof enough that not only her moaning, but the wet slapping sound resonating throughout her apartment was for their ears only. 

“God, I love that sound,” Maggie said. “Now what do you say?”

“Thank you, Maggie,” Alex said breathlessly. “I love taking your strap-on, I love being yours.”

“Believe me when I say any fucking time, Danvers,” Maggie growled.

As she continued to fuck her girlfriend, Maggie reached up with her free hand and pulled back on Alex’s short hair. Alex bent her spine into the move, body moving on muscle memory before she even had the time to react. She felt a deep clenching in her stomach as the heat building inside her reached the cusp and threatened to spill over.

“Yeah, I can feel you enjoying this. My strap always pulls a little more and I can grind in a little harder when I’m doing a good job, and fuck, this feels so good that I must have just the right angle,” Maggie said.

Alex tried to respond, but all that came out was a series of unrelated gasping syllables. Maggie interrupted the attempt at speech with several firm blows to Alex’s rear.

“You’re not here to talk, you’re here to clench around my dildo,” Maggie said in a raspy voice.

Alex could feel herself building to a climax at Maggie’s words, her hips bucking between the couch and Maggie’s pelvic bone as much as they could. With a final clench, she let out a pent-up cry of ecstasy as she felt her entire body clench up and then release in a mind-numbing series of spasms all along her body. She went weak at the knees as she collapsed, leaking onto the floor and the couch as Maggie slowed down significantly as she rode Alex through her orgasm.

“God, you did need to fuck. Coming before I even touched you between those long legs of yours? I’d say you need a round two,” Maggie growled in Alex’s ear as she continued her glacially slow pumping as Alex recovered from her orgasm.

“Ugh, Maggie, the carpet,” Alex gasped.

“I’ll deal with it once we’re done. Right now, your only job is to call out my name,” Maggie whispered as she shifted both arms underneath Alex. 

With a grunt, she hoisted the taller woman up from the couch, and gently lowered her to ground before flipping her over onto her back, all while keeping the strap-on inside of Alex.

“Maggie,” Alex said with a flushed face as she tried to use her shaky legs to get into a more comfortable position underneath Maggie.

“I got you,” Maggie said as she pulled Alex’s hips upwards, shoving a pillow from the couch under her hips. Alex groaned as her hips shifted into position and the strap on began slowly sliding past the spot inside of her that sent electric pulses up her spine. Instinctively, her legs wrapped around Maggie’s hips as she began to push back against Maggie’s thrusts.

As Maggie began picking up speed again, Alex needily grabbed for Maggie’s arms. Upon grasping them, Alex pulled Maggie down to her and deeply kissed the detective. Alex wrapped her arms around Maggie’s neck as she moaned deeply into the kiss, losing herself to the rhythm of Maggie’s thrusts and the velvet pressure of Maggie’s lips.

Maggie grasped at Alex’s lithe body all over, seemingly trying to grip everywhere on Alex’s body all at once. Maggie grasped Alex’s side, her shoulders and the crook of her neck before she settled into rolling one of Alex’s breasts in her hands as the other wrapped around Alex’s hip for additional leverage. Alex expressed her approval with a keening whimper.

Alex soon became too lost in her own pleasure to focus on kissing Maggie, and in response the detective kissed down her jawline to bite at Alex’s pulse point. The action earned a breathy yip from Alex, who pulled Maggie deeper inside of her with her legs. Maggie grinned into Alex’s neck even as she continued to suck and bite her way down to the delicate skin around Alex’s collarbone.

Letting her grasping hands move down Alex’s body to the apex of her thighs, Maggie began to touch her girlfriend. Alex responded by arching her back and bucking her hips into Maggie’s hand, feeling the hot sticky feeling roiling inside of her spill over and onto Maggie’s hand at the new source of pleasure. 

“Maggie, Maggie, oh fuck, Maggie,” Alex began murmur in a chant.

“That’s it, let go for me,” Maggie whispered in Alex’s ear.

Needing no further command, Alex’s hips picked up speed in time with Maggie’s as she felt herself lose control for a second time that morning. A kind of pins and needles feeling shot up her legs as her eyes almost rolled back in her head as she let out an actual shriek of pleasure. Maggie slowed her thrusting to half her previous speed as she rocked Alex through her orgasm, whispering comfort in her ear as she relished the clenching aftershocks Alex experienced until the taller woman stopped her with a gentle hand on her hip.

“Fuck, Maggie,” Alex said breathlessly. “I can’t really feel my legs right now. Or my face.”

“Sounds like I did pretty ok job,” Maggie said with a smirk. “Pretty sure your neighbors think so too.”

“Well, I’m going to have to move, but that was worth it,” Alex said with a lazy smile as she unhooked her legs from Maggie as she pulled the strap on from Alex’s rear with a slick sound.

“Relaxed?” Maggie asked.

“Very. That… you were right about the endorphins,” Alex said before she wrapped her arms around Maggie’s neck once more and kissed her softly. “Thank you. For everything.”

“I love you,” Maggie felt more than heard herself say.

“I love you too,” Alex said softly, without missing a beat.

Maggie felt frozen, unsure of what to do next. 

“Are you ok, baby?” Alex said before she pressed a gentle kiss to Maggie’s cheek.

When Maggie didn’t respond, Alex pulled back to look into Maggie’s panicking eyes. 

“Hey. Maggie. Talk to me,” Alex said.

“I just um. I haven’t said that before. To you. I just couldn’t. It felt like it would jinx. Like maybe I would have to wake up from this dream if I said it,” Maggie said. “And the longer it went the harder it got to say it, and it doesn’t help that I really don’t say it a lot. But, um, you’re not mad? That I haven’t said it before?”

“You have said it before. A lot. Not with words, but with so many other things. Like this, for example,” Alex said with a smile. “I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to say it with words though.”

“That’s, that’s good. Thanks for understanding. Like you always do,” Maggie said as she felt instant relief wash over her. “You’re something special, you know that Danvers?”

“I’m something special? I should be thanking you,” Alex said with a smile.

“You can thank me after this is over,” Maggie said with a leer. “I might already have a few ideas.”

“Oh really?” Alex said as she matched the quirk of Maggie’s head.

“They involve kneepads,” Maggie said with a devilish grin. “But you need to head into work. Take advantage of those endorphins. Go, go, I’ll clean up.”

“I love you,” Alex said, sealing the words with a brief kiss.

“I know. Now go change and find your dad,” Maggie said with a smile as she watched Alex rush to their bedroom to throw some clothes on. 

Maggie let herself say “Love you” to Alex on the way out the door. It felt good.


	7. Keeping Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the updates have been erratic, but here's a chapter I wrote after having a mental breakdown because of how horrific season 5 of bojack horseman was on so many levels, so you know that I've definitely gotten on a better system for writing now and this inconsistency will definitely not be a repeated theme

For weeks now, Maggie knew that her relationship with Alex was different from most of the others she had had in her life. They liked hanging out when they weren’t drunk and when they were. She found herself liking all of Alex’s silly romantic gestures even as she tried her hardest to roll her eyes at them. She looked forward to the little signs that Alex was further enmeshing herself in her life, the leftover toothbrushes and knowing her order of coffee and having preferences on which of Alex’s t-shirts she like to wear, even as those signs scared the hell out of her.

Most of all, she knew she was ride of die with Alex. She had said as much out loud recently, as Alex stood in her living room asking her if she was going to side with J’onn. Even though it made her profoundly angry at all the people who hadn’t come through for Alex in the past, who had pushed her to hold herself to an impossible standard they had no right to expect from her, she felt a warm flutter in her chest that she got to be the one that broke the cycle of disappointment for her. For this woman who gave so much of herself to other people. To let her know that she was worth someone having her back. 

But as deeply as Maggie knew she was ride or die, she had never quite considered the idea that with Alex’s job, that might just be a sacrifice Alex was going to have to make. That Maggie wouldn’t be the one doing the riding and dying.

Up until she saw an Alien ship effortlessly providing enough thrust to lift 10,000 tons of metal, advanced technology and people towards the cold, distant void, with only one Kryptonian trying to stop it with her sheer force of will.

If she was being honest, she was only really thinking about 130 pounds of the weight hurtling skyward.

Maggie stood outside the facility Alex had just torched, falling to her knees in despair as she realized exactly who was on that ship and what it meant. She felt numbness seep through her limbs as she sat, paralyzed. Somewhere deep inside her, she knew with terrible certainty what was going to happen. She knew that ship was going to jump, was going to strand Alex somewhere, probably for good, to die a cold lonely death.

And she was going to be alone again.

She didn’t feel the tears slide down her face. She didn’t feel anything.

And then, incredibly, when the ship was barely a bright speck in the sky, it seemed to stop. Maggie watched in awe as the ship seemed to simply hover in the air for seconds, and then seconds turned into minutes. The bright speck stayed in the air, unmoving.

Dully she was aware of someone shaking her, but she couldn’t allow herself to look away from the ship that was sure to jump any second.

Then she heard the jubilant words from the DEO agent next to her.

“Supergirl burned out the main engines! Detective Sawyer, they’re all coming home. You and Agent Danvers did it.”

Maggie felt relief, followed by a deep, burning ache in the middle of her chest, charring the flesh of her heart as she tried to remember how to breathe. 

It had been hours since then, since NASA had helped Supergirl and the passengers guide the ship through reentry with navigational thrusters, and Alex was finally back on the ground again. She was all smiles and back clapping, and of course she forgave everyone who had doubted her. That’s who Alex Danvers was. And Maggie wished she could reflect that same bright sunlight, unfiltered by the rancid seed of bitterness she seemed to carry everywhere she went. 

And even though Alex was next to her, a fact she had to keep reminding herself of with touches and kisses and looks, something felt wrong. Something felt deeply wrong inside of her, the same gnawing paranoia that had wounded her deeply every time she ignored it. She tried to push the feeling down as Alex walked into her apartment, still holding hands with her even as Maggie chewed at her lower lip.

Something wasn’t right.

“Hey, you’ve been pretty quiet this evening. Are you ok?” Alex asked, stepping into her personal space and putting her other hand on Maggie’s shoulder once they were safe inside.

“Am I ok? Danvers, you’re the one that almost got shot off into who knows where in the middle of space and saw your dad again. Are you ok?” Maggie asked, trying to keep her voice level.

“Maggie, I’m fine. Nothing happened. And my father might not be who I thought he was, but he at least proved today that he had a kernel of nobility inside of him. But I can tell you’re hurting. Talk to me,” Alex said so softly it shattered Maggie’s heart. 

“It’s, I wasn’t the one on the ship,” Maggie said desperately.

“You were the one on the ground,” Alex said.

“It’s just that you could have died or been sent off so far away that I never would have seen you again and, fuck, you’re not allowed to do that. Not after- not after-” Maggie said, trying to get the words out her mouth before she teared up.

“After you said you loved me?” Alex asked quietly. 

Maggie felt a dagger through her heart even as she looked into Alex’s kind eyes.

“You don’t get to leave me too,” Maggie whispered.

“Baby, I’m here. I’m safe. I’m not going anywhere,” Alex said as she brushed her thumbs over Maggie’s cheeks. “And I love you, too.”

Maggie felt something break inside of her as all of her words left her. Hot tears spilled down her face as she pulled Alex into a bruising kiss, biting and sucking and assuring herself that Alex was really there in front of her. Alex somehow understood what Maggie needed, lowering her onto their bed as she prolonged the kiss before ending with a long tug of Maggie’s lower lip between her teeth.

“Alex,” Maggie whispered. “I-I need to know that you’re not going to leave. That you’re here.”

“I’m here baby, I’ll always be here. I’m never going to leave you,” Alex murmured as she kissed up Maggie’s neck before nibbling on her earlobe. Maggie let her body grind up against Alex’s comforting weight on top of her as she wrapped one leg around Alex’s hip and anchored another between Alex’s legs, earning her small shudder from the other woman.

“I need you inside me,” Maggie whispered hoarsely, meeting Alex’s confused gaze as she pulled her head back from her neck. “I need to feel your fingers. I just need to know you’re here.”

“I get it,” Alex said with soft smile before she deepened the kiss. 

Shifting her right arm along Maggie’s back under her shirt, curling her fingers over Maggie’s shoulder as her left hand slipped down her neck. Gently, Alex moved her hands down to Maggie’s chest as she firmly kneaded and pinched and rubbed her way across Maggie’s chest. Maggie moaned into Alex’s mouth, pulling back as her own hands tried to reach under Alex’s shirt. 

“Do you want me to do anything?” Maggie gasped out as Alex leaned in to suck at the pulse point behind Maggie’s jaw and unclasping her bra.

“No. Sit back and relax. Let me take care of you,” Alex whispered into Maggie’s ear before ducking her head down to one of Maggie’s now exposed breasts. 

Pushing the shirt up with her free hand, Alex gave several long, slow strokes of her tongue over Maggie’s rapidly hardening nipples. Maggie let out deep hum of approval as she felt her breath quicken and intense warmth flash across her chest as she kicked off her pants, anything between her and Alex feeling horrible on her skin. Reaching up to pull Maggie’s shirt and bra all the way off, Alex dragged her thigh across Maggie’s still covered mound, eliciting a sharp intake of breath as Alex applied just the right about of pressure. 

Once Maggie recovered, she ran her hands up Alex’s waist, tearing away at her shirt and bra in one smooth motion. Alex, getting the hint, quickly pulled down her pants and underwear before bobbing her head down Maggie’s throat, licking and sucking to her chest as she pushed her now naked body up against Maggie’s. 

Soon Maggie began grinding herself back into the thigh Alex had pushed back between Maggie’s legs. Alex heard a high-pitched sound she couldn’t immediately identify until she realized it was Maggie whimpering her name when the detective started pawing at the back of her head. Alex kissed her way back up to Maggie’s mouth even as her hand skimmed lower, brushing her hand over Maggie’s abs and down past her naval.

Maggie whined at the loss of pressure against her center before she went still at the feeling of Alex’s fingertips slipping under the waistband of her boy shorts. 

“Is this ok?” Alex whispered hoarsely as she felt the ends of coarse hair tickle her fingertips. 

“Yes. Please, Alex,” Maggie said as she curled her body into the nape of Alex’s neck. 

Alex let a single finger slide down between Maggie’s folds, gliding on the slick wetness her digit encountered. Maggie shuddered at the touch before letting her forehead rest against Alex’s temple, her breathing heavy as Alex slid the pad of her finger up to Maggie’s clit to rub a few lazy circles before sliding back down into the molten heat.

“Fuck, Alex, touch me like that, please, keep touching me,” Maggie said quietly as she pushed into Alex’s fingers. 

“Maggie, you’re so, so beautiful,” Alex said as her eyes dragged up to gaze into Maggie’s blown pupils. 

Maggie was beyond a verbal response and could only let out a series of breathy whimpers as Alex touched her. Shoving her panties down and kicking her legs, Maggie whined in frustration as Alex continued to rub at her entrance. 

“Inside. Need you inside,” Maggie said as she gripped Alex’s back. 

Alex responded by sliding her middle finger into Maggie in one smooth motion. Maggie let out a strangled exclamation at the penetration, whimpering slightly as Alex let her palm rest against Maggie’s pubic hair. Alex could feel Maggie clench around her finger as she heard several choked sounds come from her girlfriend. When she looked at Maggie’s face, she saw wet streaks trailing down Maggie’s cheeks.

“Maggie?” Alex asked as she felt a jolt of fear at Maggie’s tears. 

“Don’t stop, please don’t,” Maggie said as she cupped Alex’s cheek, smiling through her tears. 

Pulling Alex into a deep kiss, Maggie felt hot pin pricks at her eyes as her hips bucked into Alex’s palm. As Alex began to slowly slide her finger back and forth, she curled her finger around the sensitive bump pressing up against the tips of her finger. Maggie let out a deep sound of satisfaction as Alex fell into a steady rhythm, pressing insistently at Maggie’s G-spot as she fucked her with her fingers. 

Alex wondered at the feel of having Maggie trembling in pleasure in her arms even as she kissed away the tears that were now drying on her cheek. Soon the slick sounds softly filling the room increased in volume, and Alex was adding a second finger. Maggie groaned and pushed her head into the crook of Alex’s neck, inhaling her scent as she steadied herself with a hand on Alex’s taut arm even as it thrust into her. Maggie’s hips bucked and her legs spread as she felt herself open under Alex’s fingers, spreading almost on their own as Maggie felt the muscles in her chest finally start to uncoil.

“Alex, I love you,” Maggie gasped out. 

“I love you too,” Alex crooned softly. “Come apart for me, Maggie. I’m here.”

Maggie felt the heat between her legs building to a crescendo, sweat adding a light sheen to her face as she moaned in frustration with the small amount of air she could get into lungs. Pushing herself down onto Alex’s fingers with increasing speed, Maggie felt herself peak, muscles rippling around Alex’s fingers as she went rigid, curling as far into Alex as she could. 

“Maggie, you’re so beautiful, you’re so, so beautiful,” Alex whispered as Maggie felt a tingling numbness spread down from her waist to her toes and up her chest to her face.

“Alex,” Maggie gasped as she clung onto the taller woman’s back with both of her hands, unable to form words beyond her name over and over again.

“Maggie, are you alright?” Alex asked as she brought her free hand up to stroke Maggie’s cheek with her thumb.

“I can’t feel my face,” Maggie breathed.

“What?” Alex asked. 

“I can’t feel my face or my legs, it’s just pins and needles,” Maggie said.

Alex frowned in concern.

“Does this happen often?” Alex asked. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t- it’s been a while,” Maggie mumbled. 

“Since Emily?” Alex whispered as she pulled her fingers from Maggie to wrap her arm around Maggie’s middle and pull her into an embrace.

“Yeah. I haven’t let anyone do that since Emily,” Maggie said as she closed her eyes.

“Why?” Alex prompted quietly. 

“I was scared,” Maggie said as she some of the feeling returned to her face, Alex’s thumb now feeling like tiny electric sparks leaping across her cheek.

“Scared of what? You’re the most fearless person I know,” Alex murmured into Maggie’s ear.

“Ever since Emily, I couldn’t saddle anyone with being in a relationship with me. It was hard enough being vulnerable with Emily, but after I hurt her? Really hurt her? I couldn’t hurt someone else like that, especially not someone I liked. So I when I fucked girls it was better to protect them and myself and stay hard. Not let anyone in,” Maggie said her voice barely a hoarse whisper. “It was dangerous to give myself to someone.”

“Maggie, you’re not dangerous,” Alex said. “Well, not to the people you care about. Seeing the different sides of you? When you let me in? That’s when I feel the safest. That’s when I know that the woman in front of me loves me with everything she has because she’s willing to rip off the band aids that she’s had to put on her emotional wounds for me. To share how she’s feeling with me. To bind ourselves together. That’s not dangerous, it’s tender and it’s honest.”

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me cry again,” Maggie said as she blinked away tears she wiped at with the back of her wrist. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve love, Maggie,” Alex said with a smile before climbing back on top of her to kiss her again.

Maggie felt her body heating up again, heard her own breathing turn into whines for Alex’s fingers to slip inside of her again. She pushed her slick center into the crease in Alex’s thigh, unable to break the kiss or risk suffocating again. Eventually, Alex got the hint and her hand moved down to cup Maggie’s apex with her hand once again. To Maggie’s disappointment, she briefly broke the kiss.

“Do you want me to go again?” Alex asked.

“Yes. Please, I need it. I need you, Alex,” Maggie said, unable and unwilling to hide the liquid need bubbling out of her.

She dug what nails she had into Alex’s back as those long, dexterous fingers slipped inside of her for the second time that night. Maggie moaned and wiggled as Alex kept up a steady rhythm, pumping in and out her with a steady pace that had Maggie forgetting everything except for the glorious fingers penetrating her. She felt Alex’s firm body pressed up against her and heard Alex whispering sweet nothings in her ear and felt her fingers and she couldn’t help but drink in more and more of it until the pressure built to bursting inside of her, spilling out onto Alex’s hand again and again.

Alex caressed her through each peak throughout the steady fucking she was receiving, holding her and staying close as sweat rolled off both of their bodies. Maggie lost herself in Alex, her conscious mind separating as her girlfriend made love to her for what felt like forever. Maggie’s mind was blank except for the rhythms, Alex’s fingers sliding into her, her own ragged breathing, and the eventual release it crescendoed to over and over again.

Eventually, though, she felt exhaustion take over. Weakly, she mumbled for Alex to stop. With a slick sound, Alex gently pulled her soaked fingers from Maggie’s center, and Maggie noted with mild embarrassment that her middle and index finger pruning up. Maggie tried to weakly move to touch Alex, but Alex stopped her.

“You’re exhausted,” Alex said gently as she Maggie’s hand away with hers. “Fuck, I’m exhausted too.”

“I want to make you feel good,” Maggie said sleepily.

“You being here makes me feel good. Besides, you can make it up to me in the morning if it really bothers you,” Alex murmured. 

Maggie snuggled into Alex’s warm body as Alex pulled the blankets up over them. She wanted to make an argument for why she should pay Alex back for how she had just made Maggie feel, but her eyelids were so heavy and she finally felt free of the weight in her chest she had been carrying all day. As she nuzzled into Alex’s soft breast, all she could get out was a mumbled, “I’ll take you up on that, Danvers.”

As she felt sleep take her, Maggie pulled Alex closer to her, making sure no one could pull Alex away from her in her sleep. 

Alex was hers, and no one was taking her away from her.


End file.
